What Is A Hetalia Unit?
by 1Julivia
Summary: I strongly dislike anime. Maria, my younger sister loves it though, and Mama is always working hard at night to maintain the house bills, loving them both dearly before Papa left to Mexico for a job, I promised to protect them both. But now my little sister has won a Hetalia Unit from online and now it's here. It's name is Gilbert, and it's isn't the last one to come, I'm afraid.
1. Little sis wins a lottery

**_First Hetalia Manual Fiction piece. Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya and I own my own characters. Sorry for the delay on my Vocaloid story, I've been reading way too many Manual fics and once I started writing this, I couldn't stop! Main character is heavily based on my own personality and life, but made her more into a person I wish I could be like. Well this'll be a side project, I won't be working on this like I am with my Vocaloid stuff, so don't expect much. Manuals belong to est. 1997, Optimuspenguin, or Lollidictator and now taking over the manuals is Linkforever125. _**

* * *

The weather here is most peculiar. It is always like this, I suppose, in the end of a Texas summer it was still blazing hot outside. My calendar had shown me that it was reaching the end of August, yet it still seemed like the height of July. I had been busying myself with looking out the window at the outdoors from within the library before first class. As I looked at the spine of the book on medical terms, I took to ponder. When would I ever be able to experience actual seasons? Well, Pasadena, Texas was known to have bland autumns and a dull wintertime. Not to mention the rainy and foggy latter of the year as well, and the scorching hot summers.

I glanced at my cheap watch to note the time. There was only six minutes left before the bell announces the beginning of the school day. Perhaps I should once again prepare my motivation to look forward to the incoming thinking and learning ahead of me. My name is Elizabeth Amez, first daughter to Angélica Amez and older sister to María Amez. I am Mexican-American and speak both the English and Spanish languages fluently, all of my Core subjects are pre-advanced placement classes, and I am taking French for all four years of high school, I am gifted in the following areas; singing, writing, literature critique, fact memorization, test-taking, leadership skills and excellent execution of foreign languages. I will look for a scholarship soon enough, I couldn't possibly rely on my poor mother with her difficult and low-income occupations as a nighttime janitor for three different bank buildings and a housemaid. I have sacrificed having a social life and sports to commit myself to my studies and job after school. One cannot possibly expect to receive good grades when they slack off. I only wish that María could only follow my example instead of watching Asian oriented subjects in Eastern pop subcultures like anime, manga, K-pop, J-pop, dramas and the like. Unlike me, she is constantly swarmed with her gaggle of friends at school, granted, they never come and visit because of my and Mother's embarrassment of our financial situation thus lack of colorful furniture, household adornments, etc. But they still like her and constantly call her to talk or to come over to their houses.

When given the information, she asks her friends to borrow a DVD or plushy for the week. Each week a new anime or J-drama would take over the TV, every other week another 'kawaii'" plush toy, or borrowed black and white comic. Really, what was the difference between regular colored comic books and these black and white graphic novels? What was the difference between realistic-looking anime and scatterbrained cartoons? Weren't they the same thing really? When María's afternoon includes these things, she forgoes studying or homework to occupy her mind with this Asian nonsense. Mother isn't always around to discipline her, so this leaves me to administer the chastisement. And father... it has been exactly one year since he had left Texas to go back down to Mexico to find proper work there to send money up to Mother. Gregorio Amez can only speak Spanish making it difficult to find work here in the States. It was uncomfortable to a foreign person to be surrounded by unknown territory. A dangerous safari where any beast can attack you and your family. _'Chinita,_' he once told me, using the nickname given to young girls with curly hair in my homeland. _'Es difícil, sabes? En todas direcciones nomas viendo puros gringos. No quiero que me miren como tonto. Prometeme que puedes ser mejores que ellos, y cuidar a tú mamá y hermana por mí? Mí querida Chinita mía?'._ -It's difficult, you know? In all directions, just seeing white people. I don't want them to think I am stupid. Promise me that you can become better than them, and take care of your Mama and sister for me? My dear, curly girl of mine?-

_'Sí, papi!'_ I had promised. The memory burst like rose petals and blew away, the wind scattering them. A year since I had last seen his face. It feels longer, I seemed like I was such a little girl when I had made that promise and stepped forth into my duties of responsibility. I sighed as I put away the book decorated with the gold frontispiece, and pushed up my glasses close to my black eyes, and secured my uninteresting plain bun which held back my unruly curly black hair. Sacrificing vanity was one of the other things I had to do to become academically excellent. There was no excuse of any kind to give to teachers if you arrived to class late because you were fixing your hair in the bathroom.

Like the mindless girls in the hallway that paid more attention to celebrity icons and beauty than to honor their families through study.

The bell rang over my thoughts, cuing picking up my backpack and straightening my high waistline boot-cut pants and tucked in plain T-shirt. I made my way out into the hall where I ignored the students who ran to class to stare at my old white tennis shoes, that had grayed more than I liked over the past year.

I also made sure to look past the peacock decorated females who always did the same to me on a daily basis. Finding myself in my empty art class, I took a seat and pulled out my book and started to read. It was not long before every last student sat in their seats for the lesson to initiate. Mrs. Cantor was a lovely agreeable woman, a teacher whom I genuinely liked, her understanding for the students and her patience made me wish that every teacher could possess such an easy-going relatedness. But what I did not find nice in the slightest was that she sponsored the infamous anime club itself in her very own classroom during odd-numbered afternoons which most students who took her class were delighted in finding out. All who took her course however, expect her to be be so easy-going and amiable, that no effort put in would still result in an easy A. My general idea idea of this class was as such; every _chinche_ in here was a lazy good-for-nothing idiot. Taking advantage of a kind teacher's blessedly good-hearted nature. _Nomas son puros sangrones,_ as my dear mother would put it. As we all went to work -the ones who truly cared- I plunged into the colorful world of cubist and impressionist masterpieces, birthing an existence from an otherwise soulless piece of paper. So tuned into my work that I didn't notice the shadow over my workstation.

I glanced skywards. Black hair falling delicately into deep blue eyes, fair lips and flawless light-colored skin compared to my light brown tint, and boyish aura. Christian Handel, usually seated in the 4th seat in table 2 surrounded by other boys and girls. He had the beauty perfection to be a model, though I did not care for such things. He is said to have turned down 18 dating requests. Contrary to the popular boy stereotype, he is quiet, and does his best during class, excellent grades and does well in his sport which I found to be tennis. He is 16, two years older than me, lives with both parents and has a bus route on 604. I know this because I work as an office aid on Mondays and Tuesdays. I had memorized the student information archive that they kept open there out of boredom.

"Um, hello Elizabeth?"

"Yes, Christian?," I asked none too happily, I would much rather work to get done and go back to reading up on medical terms. His long eyelashes fluttered in surprise. "I haven't talked to you before, how do you know my name?," he asked.

"I pay attention to the names on roll call, it's not that hard to find out who's who," I responded. Also because it was mostly my job to pass out any rare writing assignments, where I peek at the seating chart, study it over twenty times, and memorize the name and placement of every student lest some unfortunate substitute teacher is caught up in a "But I sit here, Miss!", maelstrom.

"Oh, right. Um, I need your advice."

"You need my advice?"

That is strange. No one bothers with me because of my introverted behavior.

"Yeah, you did the watercolor star-flower over the board right? I saw your name under it. I pay attention to stuff like that, its not very hard, right?," he said with a smile.

Did I just get stung by my own whip? This guy certainly knew his wit. It was a very good comeback. Impressive.

"Touche," I complimented, hiding a pained look. Getting bested by a pretty boy was not saying much about my own intelligence. I asked him what he was working on.

"Well, it's not as good as yours, but its a well. But you're looking down into it, and I wanted to ask about making the reflection on the water a certain way or not," he said hesitantly.

I nodded, and looked over his painting. I was looking down on two small children gazing down a well, their smiling reflections not far off. The serious base color that made the grass outside and the clothes of the children were well done, and nicely vibrant. His skill wasn't too bad, in fact much better than what I've seen other students accomplish. The data in my head calculated proper answers.

"Try to shade their faces with mixtures of faint white and light blue and transparent teal shades. Paint the rest of it in short, medium-paced strokes to indicate the slow stillness of the water, and then put in the facial expressions last," I advised.

Christian looked at his painting in wonder and realization.

"Yeah, that would make it look like real water! Thanks a lot, Elizabeth," he gratefully said.

"You're welcome," I said automatically.

"By the way-"

_Santa maría bendita, was he going to hang around? I need to get this done!_

"My little brother goes to the same junior high your sister goes to. He's her friend and I met her while I went there to pick him up. I never knew she liked anime, like me and him. Do you like anime too, Elizabeth?"

I cringed at the word pertaining to the very subject.

"No,' I said a tad bit too forcefully. "It's nothing but a senseless distraction to pass the time. I'll have to tell her when I get home that she should choose her friends more carefully and tell her to return anything that she might have borrowed. If you would so kindly have a nice day, I need to complete this assignment."

"Oh," The older teen said, a bit miffed. "Sorry. Later, then." I watched him leave with a guilty feeling. I didn't mean to abash him, my sister's foolish hobby was a touchy subject for me. How in the world could there be a whole club and other people dedicated to this useless area? Surely studying for a good future was a better, if not a mandatory, choice of hobby?

The rest of the day went by uneventfully like clockwork. Second class, third class, then lunch hour, where I ate quickly and went back to the classroom to work on homework. Uncle Jorge needed help in the martial arts studio after school. He teaches Aikido, karate, kick-boxing and jiujitsu to the older class. It's already my second year being his private student in jiu jitsu and Aikido. Jiujitsu uses clever maneuvers to use the size and weight of your opponent against themselves while Aikido does not rely on speed, but on precision and attention. I was only on the 4th degree belt in Aikido, and barely holding onto the jiu jitsu fighting style.

Organizing my thoughts, I followed the currents of the crowd to my fourth class, expertly dodging people I walked past to get to my class early. World History Pre-AP class with Mr. Grumman, an old fellow with sharp wit to rival his years. He was actually very friendly when outside of the classroom, but strict with a strong backbone. He was one not to be trifled with, and had half-moon spectacles, white combed over hair and snow white sparse beard, all very fluffy to be simple. He dressed like any American grandfather would, slacks, cotton collared shirts, and old fashioned shoes. The kind where your laces are thin and there is little to no stitches save for the ones around the laces with his socks pulled up.

"Good day, Mr. Grumman," I gave my standard greeting.

"Good day, Miss Amez," he said, with his cultured gravelly voice. He took a sip of coffee from his desk, turning to face me and saw my book in my hand.

"And what are we learning now?"

I held the titled work aloft.

"Medical terms meant for professionals," I answered.

"It looks very old. Perhaps as old as me. You read books no one your age would take a second glance at. Extraordinary, it is, that you are willing to take in as much information as possible every moment. I've heard of dedication to education, but this seems almost like an obsession with you. Tell me, do you have trouble at home?"

This. This right here, was the reason I did not choose to converse with people. They ask too many questions, supposedly worrying about you. I just want to read in peace and want nothing to do with people. Why couldn't anyone understand that?

"There's nothing wrong," I lied. "I just love to read. That's all."

"Well," he sighed, seeming to give up. "Nothing wrong with reading."

The second person to arrive was, as always, Maxine Havisham. A ditsy freckled redhead, whom I wondered could ever manage to stay adrift in a Pre-AP course. She always wore hooped earrings and clothes the painted peacock girls in the halls could only dream of, her golden leather hulking purse ever at her side. Her green eyes were always cheerful and alive, and her personality was that of an airhead.

"Sup, Mr. Grumman?"

"Er, hello Miss Havisham," the teacher said, unused to this rather unorthodox greeting.

"How many times do I gotta tell ya, the name's Maxie or Max. Nuff of this 'Miss so and so' stuff," she twittered.

"I'm comfortable enough calling you Maxine, Miss Havisham," Mr. Grumman said stubbornly.

"Fiiiine, whatever," she faced me, which I hoped she wouldn't do. "Yo, Lizzie! Wazaaaaaaaaaaap?"

"My name is Elizabeth, and hello Maxine," I said as stoic as I could.

"Aw, but that's no fun. Shouldn't friends call each other by nicknames?"

"We're friends? I never once talked to you before."

"Sure you did, you let me borrow your eraser two weeks ago, remember?"

"How in the world does that make us friends?"

"Well you were nice to me and did me a kindness, so we're friends now right?"

"Uh..."

Her overflowing easiness was staggeringly overwhelming. How can anyone in existence be this relaxed about life? Soon, her other friends came in.

"Hey Maxie!"

"Hi Rebecca!"

"Heard it was your birthday tomorrow, happy b-day girl!"

I sat down at my desk, opened my book and tried my hardest to tune them out, what I didn't count on was Maxine hopping up and down dangerously close to my desk.

"So when Shaun told me-Maxie watch out!"

"Whoa!"

Too late. She bumped against the top right corner, scattering the contents of her purse onto the floor, and pushing away my star decorated backpack with it. Books and assignments spilled out of it. And...a Pikachu key-chain? Not just that, an anime poster with a cute girl in a gothic frilly dress. Familiar flipped over comic books with various gibberish Japanese titles were scattered as well. There were even plastic figurines of Naruto and something called Inu..Sasha or something. There was a sketchy drawing of a brown haired person with a swirly cowlick with two equal signs for eyes, holding up a peace sign with his right hand, and a dripping pizza in the other. Maxine picked this item up carefully and lovingly held it to her heart.

"Is that... anime stuff? You know those Japanese cartoons with the girls with the huge chests or no chest and all of the weird muscled guys?," Rebecca asked another girl.

"I like anime too Maxie, that key chain is totes cute," the other answered.

"But aren't high school students too old to be watching kid cartoons?," Rebecca asked rudely.

"Anime aren't cartoons!," Maxine announced loudly.

I looked down at her at the sudden outburst. Her eyes were full of emotion, something I've never seen in a face so carefully taken care of. In fact, her eyes were so sad, I could swear that I thought tears would flow out at any given moment. She looked down at the sketchy drawing, stroking her index finger over the brown hair, as if really feeling through someone's hair.

_ "_Anime... is the world,' she whispered.

"Okay, whatevs floats your boat,' Rebecca stoutly expressed.

The other girl who shared Maxine's interest, who I remembered as a Tiffany Speck, helped her pick up the contents of her purse, while I straightened my star speckled backpack back on my desk, accepting the apology that Maxine gave. Everyone sat down accordingly, Maxine in the desk behind me, and Tiffany and Rebecca on either sides of her.

"Hey Maxie, aren't your parents like, really strict? Do they know about your anime craze?,' Tiffany asked her.

"Yeah...,' I heard Maxine answer quietly. "That's why I never had the heart to tell them, I have good grades and everything, but I'm afraid they'll never accept this part of me. My cousin got me into it, and he's been grounded by his own parents because of it. They made me promise to not get into the stuff. But it's just so full of heart, and awesome, I can't help but get obsessed. I guess I'm one of those people who hide the fact that they love anime, uh, it's something to do with a cupboard? Uh-"

"You're a closet otaku,' I said out loud without thinking.

The room went silent.

_ Dios santo mio, dios santo mio,_ what in heaven's name did I just do?

"Eh?,' Maxine perked up. "Lizzie, you like anime too?"

"No I don't, I have a younger sister who's into it,' I explain. "She's always pounding random facts about being a fan or about something weird about Japan, and it's just something I remember. My name is Elizabeth, not Lizzie."

"Well, you must have been interested then if you remember that thing,' Maxine said cheerfully, disregarding my last sentence entirely.

_Gah..._ she doesn't know me well enough to know that my brain memorizes every little piece of information it can get ahold of! To slap my face right now would be fitting.

Class continued without further conversation between me and civilization. The lesson plan was introduced and I continued onto the day. 5th class, 6th class, then 7th class, which was my English Pre-AP class, and then the bell released the expectant students that eagerly ran rampant to escape the prison of school. I was almost to my bus when someone closed my eyes to the world.

"Hello thar!,' a familiar voice said out of the darkness. I removed the hands out of my face to see that behind me was none other than Maxine.

"Hello, Maxine, what is it?,' I asked dejectedly. Her talking patterns were sure to make me miss my bus.

"Just wanted to say hello,' Maxine said happily. "Besties say good bye to each other at the end of the day, right?"

"Look, if you want to be friends that's fine with me, but I can't just forgo my studies and job to acquiesce to "girl time" or whatever it is that people call it."

"Oh, that's fine but you gotta talk to me at lunch sometime okay?"

"I guess that's alright,' I gave in. "Bye, Maxine."

"Wait!,' she grabbed hold of my wrist, her strength was surprising. "You hafta call me Maxie, and can I be the only one who is allowed to call you Lizzie?"

"Fine."

"One other thing..."

I didn't mean to sigh in exasperation. Anyone with patience would have done so.

She averted her green eyes to the sidewalk.

"You won't mind that I'm a closet otaku, right? Cuz we're friends and all..."

There was a sudden moment where I could have smiled out of relief, maybe I could become true friends with Maxine. She was intelligent, nice and shared most of my classes. I could accept Maria's eccentricities, and she was my sister. I would never be a real friend if I couldn't accept her love of the Asian subculture. If I was going to be someone's best friend, I was going to be the best friend I could be.

"Of course, I already deal with my sister. It's more than okay with me."

"Really?! Yay!,' she jumped up and hugged me, I pried her off as quickly as I could.

"Huh? What's wrong? Never had a hug before?,' she questioned.

"Sorry, I only hug family. My ethnicity isn't used to being taken so, sorry,' I said.

"Well, you're gonna hafta get used to it, best friend!,' and with that, she skipped away, as merry as a chihuahua.

"Yes... okay,' I climbed on my bus and was dropped off in front of my street on time. I enjoyed seeing the flora as I walked down the uneven beige cemented street. There were many senior citizens on my street, so it was always quiet, there was also two forests that lay on the far side of the street and another that hid a train intersection. I took out my keys as soon as I faced the plain white front door. I went in and started dinner in the kitchen. As the Mexican rice boiled, I heard the front door open on schedule.

"I'm hooooome!,' Maria said. "Ooh, are you cooking _arroz_, Elizabeth?,' she asked, her straight medium length hair in low pigtails, she set down her backpack on the counter. She's very cute with eyelashes that went downwards and to the side, making her gaze seem sad. Her hair and eyes were purely jet black and her skin was a whole shade darker than mine. Unlike me, she had cute clothes and dressed normally, she had a camisole and white linen jacket, with light blue Capri with flower designs in the legs and white converses, which she had begged and begged Mother to buy for her for the new school year. I said I didn't mind if mama didn't buy me new shoes, that she should spend more money on Maria, it would be her first year in junior high. Mother reluctantly did so, and Maria had abandoned her anime obsession for two weeks as an offering to my kindness.

"Hey, shouldn't we both arrive home at the same time?,' I had memorized our bus schedules on the day before school started. "Why do you get here thirty minutes late?"

My _hermanita_ dropped the spoon she had gotten from the drawer to serve herself. She picked it up by instinct.

"Um well you see, it's for tutorials...,' she said nervously.

"I've went to junior high before, the tutorials don't start until the STAAR tests are announced, after the benchmarks are over with. What are you hiding?,' I demanded quietly.

She turned a 360 to face me, Maria gulped and looked up at me with a pleading look.

"I was at the public library with my friends... watching anime online... and... reading manga..."

"Maria! How could you lie to me?! What would Mama say when she hears that the reason you come home so late is that you are goofing off with your friends at the library?! Haven't we taught you better?,' I scolded.

Maria looked close to tears.

"_Perdon, hermana!_ Please forgive me! I couldn't help it, I promise I'll stop going okay? _Perdoname!_"

"I don't want to take away your drawings or anything. And even worse, I don't want to get Mother involved. She has too much work as it is to deal with. She was a little late to pay the air bill that's why it got hot last night. Just promise me you won't go again. Who brought you home?"

Maria's salted tears were water-falling now once I asked the question.

"I...I walked...b-by my-myself,' she stuttered.

At this I went livid. How many news announcements have the three of us heard together about older men attacking young girls, even in broad daylight? I had to stop myself from grappling her.

"Maria! Do you know how dangerous that is!? Never do it again! This would've given Mama a heart attack! Never, ever do anything like this again, do you hear me?! Never!,' I thundered.

"Perdoname!,' she sobbed. I hugged her, and water fogged my own vision. "It's okay, just... I worry so much because I love you so. Mama _tambien_, she loves you okay? Never keep things like this from me, okay? I have to know that you are safe, okay? You must understand this, Maria _mia_."

"Okay, Elizabeth,' I released her and got my plate and fork to serve myself. We both sat down at the counter.

"I guess since I can't keep anything from you, then I should tell you about the ad..." Maria began as I was already eating.

"An ad? On a computer?,' I asked.

"Yeah, it was about a new anime I like right now. It's about taking home a robot that looks and acts like the characters,' she fretted.

"You ordered one?,' I sighed in disappointment. "Maria, you know we don't have any money for such things, how much is it? I'm sure Mom will make it somehow."

"Oh, it was just a draw to get some free, and I kind of used your name and I think we won it..."

"What?"

Ding! That was the doorbell. I went to answer it, and was met with Christian Handel in a uniform, clipboard in hand. His blue eyes looked at me in shock.

"Elizabeth? I didn't know... I'm guessing your sister ordered it..."

"Yes, I did!,' my sibling came up to the door and looked at my classmate.

Her little gaze flitted from me to Christian.

"Hey, Chris! You know my sis?,' she asked.

"Yeah, she's in my art class,' he said as he fingered the palm tree behind him. "Anyways, i think I should bring it in right?"

"Why are you here?,' I interrogated. "Bring what in? Why are you in a uniform and what did Maria get? For free, supposedly."

"This is a delivery, the Hetalia Unit, it's my job from Flying Mint Bunny, she won a free Hetalia Unit package that is chained to several or plus other products. That fine?"

I looked behind him, there... right beside the nearby drive through was a life size crate with latches on the front, with the standard 'This side up' red print stamp. My mind calculated that it was very heavy but I couldn't come up with the exact weight mass by sight alone, it was resting on a red hand truck, the kind you used for lifting heavy objects on one side.

My watch beeped, it was exactly six minutes before Mom came home from errands. If she saw this... I can't even imagine such a transaction taking place at all. I stood there gaping as Maria signed Christian's clipboard eagerly.

"Here's the manual, you'll need it for this guy,'' he said to me, I grabbed the pamphlet without a second glance, not bothering to look at the title or anything.

"That's fine, just please get that absurd thing into my house this instant! Before my mother comes home!"

"Y-yes ma'am,' he sputtered, unused to seeing my frazzled reaction unlike the way he would see me at school. He quickly took up the handle of the hand truck and made his way into the house.

He found himself in the front living room, taking in the mismatching couches and plain brown coffee table in the middle of it all.

"Should I set it down he-"

"No! Um, this way to my room, it was won under my name and Maria is in trouble as it is,' I said quickly, directing him to the left of the living room, leading him to the hallway to the farthest door, which would open to my room. My plain room was visible for his eyes to take in. Christian set down the box carefully, the side with the latched on the side facing upwards next to my collapsible bed. "Well, have a nice day, Elizabeth. The selection is at random with the winnings, so good luck with this guy, okay?,' he said politely. I threw the manual on my desk.

Four minutes until Mother's arrival.

"Yes, yes, now please let me show you to the door,' as soon as we reached the front living room, he stopped me from behind him. He handed me what I recognized as a business card.

"Here's my cell phone number if you need any help,' I took it politely and without my jurisdiction, he made his leave. I closed the door behind him, and sighed as I slid my back on the front door to sit on the floor. I would have to tell Mother about it, I couldn't bear lying to her, it would mean breaking my promise. Maria came up to me, and sat down next to me. After a sizable amount of silence, Maria leaned on my shoulder, and I rested my head on hers.

"I'm sorry, hermana,' she apologized. I smiled and laughed, as I took her hand.

"Don't be,' I insisted "We'll get through this together like sisters, like always."

"Yeah, you're right, but you didn't have to keep it in your room, my room would have been fine, I always keep it clean don't I? You always have that papery mess too, also,' she pointed out.

"You don't have any space in your room, and Mother always checks on it when she comes home late, what would you say? 'It's for a project, Mom!'? What, a huge box that can hold three men is for a little junior high project?,' I joked.

We both laughed at the silliness of the notion. We both straightened up and held up our hands to do our secret handshake, a habit neither of us had grown out of.

"You and me,' she recited.

"Close as can be,' I answered.

"Facing things together."

"Sisters forever,' we said in unison. We picked each other up, and finished dinner, when Mother came home down to the second, she ate dinner, while watching the news with us together in the den.

The newscaster was delivering grave news, without a break in her emotionless expression, not realizing that families watching everywhere dreaded each and every word spoken. It was about a legal adult attacking an underage girl in her own room, also abusing her and intruding her. Several eyewitnesses reported the whole thing and the man was taken to court where he was tried and found guilty. Justice had been served, but the girl could never erase the entirety of the horrible encounter, and will spend the rest of her teenage years going to therapy. The next story was about a young boy and his girlfriend who was forcing her to have relations with him, though the girl had a responsible background, she gave in to his demands and now had a child to give to adoption. As always, Mother talked to us both about both incidents.

"_Hijas_, please take note what happened,' she said in broken English. "That man disturbing young girl is bad, never trust men you not know, and... not in real mean way, but no boyfriend until older, or please very careful. I just... no money to take care of little mouth to feed, do joo understand?,' her heavy accent was of no difficult discernment from us, Maria and I knew fully understood what she meant to say to us. Maria, lovingly committed and honest, hugged mother's neck.

"I promise, Mama,' she said happily, receiving a kiss to her forehead from Mother, and Angelica stroked her hair caressing her head.

"I am glad, _mi amor_,' Mom thanked.

I could not match the deepness of Maria's expression of her promise, but I asked the Lord Almighty that I would take it to heart.

"I will not date until I am thirty years old,' I said seriously. Both mama and Maria laughed at the exaggerated severity of my vow.

"No go too far, but I happy you promise me,' she said pulling me into a group hug with her and my younger sister.

It came time for her to go to work, and we both wished her well and good bye, and that God bless her on her safe journey back. Before she completely left the door, she turned to face us, and gave us both a tired smile.

"Am glad that my house is safest place for you, I know you will always safe when in here,' she confessed.

We both nodded and both headed into our respected rooms to do homework. I felt particularly good with the promise we had both made mom about dangerous and lecherous older men and conniving males. I felt very safe and secure. It was nearing ten o'clock when I finished my homework and memorizing facts and book entries, where I had stopped writing in my story to look at the crate, and I looked at the pamphlet. There was a note on top of it where it said that winnings in a draw you could not return, so I supposed that this robot or Unit or whatever it answered to would have to stay, so there was no avoiding the cause to open it. I carefully opened the pamphlet to the first page, my brain already warming up to memorize every last word.

**GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT: User Guide and Manual**

I started reading. How bad could this little toy be?

* * *

**_A/N: Maria and Elizabeth are both based on my younger sister and me, only with our attributes swapped, and Elizabeth is more like how I would love to be more like, if I was ever really good in memorizing information in little time. The family situation is very similar to my family's situation a few years ago._**

**_Maxine's name follows the Nobody name rule from Kingdom Hearts, when you take out the 'x' and rearrange the letters her name is the word 'anime'. _**

**_Well thanks for reading, I'm glad to get this story out of my system._**


	2. Seizing vital regions

** A/N: _Hello again, this is 1Julivia. I'm looking at this right now and ...well... I'm disappointed in myself. I broke my promise to myself and my Vocaloid fic fans about updating my other story soon. I just don't see how I can have a mini-writer's block right here and now. Oh, well. I'll be taking a break from my other fan fiction with this work, until I can get around to it once more. Enough jabbering from me, enjoy the chapter. Manuals belong to Lollidictator, est. 1995, and/or Optimuspenguin. I own my original characters. If you want to check the statuses of my stories, be sure to check out my biography. _**

* * *

**GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT: User Guide and Manual**

**CONGRATULATIONS! **You have just purchased your very own GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit! This manual was created in order to allow you, the owner, to unlock your unit's full potentials, and it is advised that you read this pamphlet thoroughly before attempting to operate your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit, as mistreatment may result in an infuriated unit and aching body parts.

**Technical Specifications:**

Name: Gilbert Beilschmidt. Will respond to "Prussia", "East Germany", "East", "Your Awesomeness", "Gil", "Bruder", "Beilschmidt", and angrily to "Kaliningrad".

Age: 20

Place of Manufacture: Berlin, Germany

Height: 5'9"

Weight: 140 lbs

Length: Awesome.

**GENBEN Specifications**

_Your unit is one of two units who have an opposite-sex counterpart._

Name: Julchen Beilschmidt. Will respond to "Prussia", "East Germany", "East", "Your Royal Awesomeness", "Mutter", "Schwester", "Beilschmidt", and angrier to "Kaliningrad" than the normal GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit.

Age: 20

Place of Manufacture: Berlin, Germany

Height: 5'7"

Weight: 120 lbs

Size: 34C

This version of your unit has long platinum hair that she tends to do in outrageous styles.

**Your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit comes with the following:**

One (1) navy blue Luftwaffe SS uniform. Please note that JULCHEN BEILSCHMIDT's uniform is black and tailored to fit her.

One (1) Knights Cross of the Iron Cross

One (1) Teutonic Knight outfit

One (1) Gilbird unit

Five (5) blank journals

**Programming**

Your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit is equipped with the following traits:

Journalist: Your unit is quite a writer, and you can put this to use by getting him a job at the nearby newspaper or magazine studio. The editorials he writes will be great, but highly biased, so be warned before you take him to a studio.

Drinker: GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT has an amazing tolerance for alcohol, especially beer. He despises vodka, and will never drink it, but you can have your unit play in all sorts of drinking games that he will win every time! But a warning - the GENBEN GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT tends to strip when she's drunk.

Model: Need some cash? Wanted a hotter star in those adult movies you love? Just send your unit to a modeling agency or movie audition, and he will immediately become popular. And with his natural exhibitionist nature, he will be right at home with this job! The GENBEN version of your unit has just the same personality, and will work just as well with this occupation.

Bandmate: Always wanted to be famous? Well, just have your unit play drums in your band and you'll soon find yourself the new craze! Just...don't let him sing.

**Removal of your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT from Packaging**

Due to your unit's volatile, rash nature, removing your unit from his box may prove to be quite the challenge. For your safety, we have provided a list of ways in which to wake him up, as improperly waking him will result in agony for you and all nearby.

1. Stand next to the box and pour beer on the lid. Your unit will claw his way out and harass you for some beer, and we advise you give it to him if you value your house. After getting his alcohol, he will be very friendly to you.

2. Set a plate of Austrian apple strudel next to the box, or play piano as well as you can. Your unit will get out carefully, probably in the belief that you are a RODERICH EDELSTEIN unit, and will try to ninja-jump you; reprogram him fast enough and he will not try to rape you.

3. Stand next to the box and say anything in Russian, preferably with the best accent you can manage. Your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit will tremble hard enough for the box to shake, and then you can open it and he will cry with joy at the fact that you are not an IVAN BRAGINSKI unit; he will also be very submissive to anything you want. If you would like a defiant unit, stand far, far away - preferably at a distance from which you need a microphone - and call your unit by 'Kaliningrad'. The box lid will fly off and your unit will go into a rage, searching for an IVAN BRAGINSKI; reprogram him quickly to avoid major damage to your house.

4. Activate his Gilbird unit. This will automatically awaken your unit and he will chase Gilbird down.

**Reprogramming**

After successfully awakening or calming down your unit, you can decide to change his settings from the default _AWESOME_ mode into any of the following, if you so choose.

All of the modes have slight adjustments for the GENBEN version of GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT.

_AWESOME (default)_

_Vital-Region Seizing (default)_

_Depressed_

_Horny_

_Frightened (locked)_

_Domesticated (locked)_

The GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit does indeed come in his _AWESOME_ mode, which basically entails him calling himself amazing and great. He also says often that he is "five metres", which you can take figuratively, or rip his clothes off and find out literally. We won't spoil it in this guide. GENBEN GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT asks if you want to touch her breasts.

His _Vital-Region Seizing _mode is also a default, and this is signified by him constantly grabbing for your crotch, if you are a boy, or your breasts, if you are a girl. Sometimes he will go for the opposite of what he should, or for both; and sometimes if you have a really nice butt, he'll go for that. It is advisable to refuse if he gropes you and asks if you would like to see his five-metres, even though that might sound a terrible idea now; the same applies for GENBEN GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT asking if you'd like to touch her chest.

The _Depressed_ mode is utilized simply by either telling him about your boyfriend, or talking about how cute your neighbor's RODERICH EDELSTEIN unit looks with your landlady's ELIZAVETA HEDERVARY unit; he will sit quietly in the corner and cry in most cases, while denying that he is lonely, or he might sob openly and run off to bother a nearby LUDWIG KALTHERZIG unit.

GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT's _Horny _mode is found by agreeing to his asking if you want to see his five-metres/touch her breasts, by dressing provocatively or incompletely, or by showing him porn. You could always triple-whammy him and do all three; remember that he is, technically, a legal adult, before you do anything. We, the makers of this manual, hereby give all claim to the owner and will not be blamed for whatever havoc is wreaked by your unit.

The _Frightened _mode is locked, and for a good reason. After getting GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT into it, it is extremely hard to get him out. He can be put into a light, watered-down version of this mode by a raging ELIZAVETA HEDERVARY, or he can be forcibly knocked into it by being in close proximity for longer than twenty seconds, on his own with a single IVAN BRAGINSKI unit. To get him out of _Frightened_, you will have to either leave him with a RODERICH EDELSTEIN, MATTHEW WILLIAMS or LUDWIG KALTHERZIG unit for a few days or weeks; call an ELIZAVETA HEDERVARY over (she will mock him enough that he will force himself out of the mode, after a while, though she might be kind to him too); or take the simple way out and put him under a heavy, one month or longer group therapy for rape and abuse victims.

The _Domestic _mode is also locked, but is not as hard to get your unit out of as Frightened is. This unit is accessed by putting an ELIZAVETA HEDERVARY unit into her _Transvestite_mode, or finding a GENBEN version of her and leaving him/her around your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT for a few hours; sending him to live with a _WWII_-mode MATTHEW WILLIAMS for two weeks; or finding an _Out of Character _IVAN BRAGINSKI unit and having your unit live with him. In this mode, your unit might ask you to go buy him maid dresses and aprons, or lacy lingerie if you have a GENBEN GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT, and he will be extremely kind and mother like; he is, however, just as raunchy as normal, so be warned if you are putting him in this mode. Getting him out of this mode is simple: just remind the normal version that "only women should be in the kitchen", and tell the GENBEN version, as soon as she steps out of the kitchen, to "get back in there and make [me] a sandwich". The GENBEN version is known to bitch-slap her owner after being told that; we, the makers, hereby give all claim of this unit to the owner and will not be held responsible for any actions done by this unit.

**Relationships with Other Units**

RODERICH EDELSTEIN: He and GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT have a relationship that some see as hatred and others, mainly yaoi-shipping girls, see as unresolved sexual tension. This romance is not available for GENBEN GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT units, sadly, as the only female unit for RODERICH EDELSTEIN is ELIZAVETA HEDERVARY. As either gender, your unit enjoys the company of RODERICH EDELSTEIN, interestingly enough, and will go off and bug him periodically.

ELIZAVETA HEDERVARY: GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT and she have a long past, based from when the female unit believed herself to be male. Now, GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT mocks her for it, but if you order the GENBEN versions of these units then they will gravitate towards each other and most likely end up in a relationship.

IVAN BRAGINSKI: When you receive him, your unit has nothing but animosity for IVAN BRAGINSKI. With some coaxing, this hate can - like with the RODERICH EDELSTEIN unit - turn into love. Or something close to love, anyway. Unfortunately for GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT, this love is more BDSM-centered than any other pairing you can make with the IVAN BRAGINSKI unit, and quite possibly with any of the units we offer. With GENBEN, your unit will hate the IVAN BRAGINSKI unit just as much, but there is a slightly less chance of romance as with a male GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT, as the GENBEN version's first choice is GENBEN ELIZAVETA HEDERVARY.

LUDWIG KALTHERZIG: Your unit is the older sibling of the LUDWIG KALTHERZIG unit, despite the last names, and hence feels compelled to take care of him. That, of course, entails buying him beer and porn, and taking him to strip clubs every few weeks. The GENBEN GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT has no shame and tends to walk around either naked or in a bra and underwear, and the LUDWIG KALTHERZIG unit is used to it and will not respond; if he is, however, in his _Defeated _mode, then GENBEN GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT will often corner him. It is not advised to leave a _Horny _GENBEN GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT, or even a normal GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT, around LUDWIG KALTHERZIG. Ever.

GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT: Your unit is one of the few who can actually love himself to the extent of starting a relationship. It might consist of two GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT units, twoGENBEN GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT units, or one GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT and one GENBEN GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit. It might also be the same (GENBEN) GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit and his/her hand.

**Cleaning**

GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT is capable of cleaning himself, and we advise that you avoid bathing with him if you don't want to be raped in the bath. The GENBEN GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT is just as bad.

**Feeding**

Your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT can feed himself, but we suggest getting him apple strudel a few times a month and keeping your fridge stocked with beer.

**Rest**

Both GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT and GENBEN GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT are lazy as hell, and will sleep whenever they feel like sleeping or are too drunk to continue wandering the world of the conscious.

**Frequently Asked Questions**

Q: Gilbird has vanished, and now my GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT has, too! What should I do?

A: Wait for your unit to return. He will not come back until he has found his bird unit.

Q: My GENBEN GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit hates keeping her clothes on. She just pulls them off in public and walks around naked. How can I make her stop?

A: Get her a job in the porn industry, or find her a boyfriend/girlfriend/good dildo.

Q: GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT is giving me hell because he lost his iron cross.

A: Buy a new one from Customer Support, or tell him to get off his lazy ass and find it. He will respect you more for responding that way to him.

**Troubleshooting**

Problem: Instead of a boisterous, arrogant (GENBEN) GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT, you received a meek and submissive male who just stares at you with empty eyes and does anything you want. He also refuses beer, asking instead for vodka, and refuses to eat anything but Slavic foods.

Answer: Whoops, we sent you a KALININGRAD unit on accident. This unit is male and has been beaten, raped, and or drugged into submission by IVAN BRAGINSKI over the course of nearly thirty years. He is also very easy to corner, as he will do nothing no matter how badly you hurt him; he is also a great cook, and is much friendlier around TORIS LORINAITIS, RAIVIS GALANTE and EDUARD VON BOCK then he is normally. Since you probably don't want such a meek unit, you can call Customer Services for an exchange.

Problem: Your unit spends too much time cooped up in his room on the computer, or writing in those journals.

Answer: Your unit has gotten back into his love of blogging and/or chronicling his life. Let it happen; eventually he'll get bored and tell you to make you a sandwich and then, when he comes to eat, you can take the computer and/or notebooks away and everything will go back to normal...at least, until he realizes that the computer is gone, but that won't be for a few weeks.

**End Notes**

With the proper care and treatment, you can find a valuable companion in (GENBEN) GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT. We wish you good luck with your unit, because you're going to need it.

* * *

What...just what kind of robot was this? All these atrocious terms and uses? These were all horrible and distasteful things to read. What in the name of heaven above did my little sister order? There is also the fact that I can't send winnings back. I took the pamphlet and flipped it over and inside out to find some sort of safeguard, a loophole clause, anything to keep from accepting this "prize". The note explaining the terms of winning the draw had other words on the back.

**Winner's Note:**

Though the first random unit you receive cannot be returned to Flying Mint Bunny Inc., the chained packages with it to come after can be returned with a simple one step call to our Customer Service Line. All of our units come with a warranty to last as long as you keep them, if unsatisfied with the next products, we will gladly pick it up and have it sent back, free of charge.

The Customer Service number followed the text selection. But that was all. No tricky clause, no loophole sentence. Maybe the best way to deal with the advertisement was to simply say that I wasn't satisfied with their products and get rid of them as soon as they are delivered. Heaven forbid their presence here if they were all as bad as this one. But the matter at hand in the current moment was this... Prussia unit. Getting it out of the box and storing it somewhere else would prove less troublesome than trying to hide the whole box in my room. I kneeled next to the laid down crate, my long sleeved high neck-lined floor-reaching night gown tucked under my legs. I had set the manual on my writing desk, once memorized, I would never need it again. My hands slid themselves along the edges of the wood. Sturdy, well built, the well manufacturing of the wood is similar to those to be holding livestock or other living things. Why would this company do that if they were artificial toys?

My knees crept across the salmon colored carpet, to the other side of the package close to my bed against the wall, where the latches laid in wait. I undid them and carefully lifted the lid. From the very limited information I have gathered on the subject of these units, was that they were most likely anime personifications of a country, who each held stereotypes of said country in their image. Having thought that, I had no idea what facial traits this Prussia unit would possess, I suspected it would look like a giant surreal and wacky-looking doll, which is why I was thoroughly surprised to see luscious snow white hair, flawless porcelain complexion, full beckoning peach smooth lips and graceful arcing eyelashes. An iron cross hanging around the neck area of his clothes. His navy blue uniform added a certain charm to the man's overall look, he had the stature of any healthy young adult male, with an other-worldly beauty. What also caught me off guard was how... human he looked. He seemed to be sleeping, though his chest didn't rise and fall per the normal. I reached down shyly to his mouth and nose, reminding myself that it was a toy, and strained to feel breathing, but to feel none. Surely this wasn't the by-product of a top notch technological industry. Surely this was a living, breathing human being? I withdrew the packaged Teutonic Knights outfit beside his side, and the plastic bound blank journals, which I opened them to be ordinarily black and with lined pages, with an empty white title box on the front covers. He shared my love for writing... maybe that was the only thing this...um, Unit and I had in common. I took out a mechanical pencil, and put it on the journals, maybe I could coax him most of the time by means of writing. I reached awkwardly around his broad shoulders to find a small, adorable little yellow bird, that appeared to be sleeping. My logic reasoned that this would be the safest way to wake um...him up. It will be strange to address him as 'it', it unnerved me how humane he appeared and how defenseless. The mental copy of the manual in my hand shook my logic to reason. This was a lecherous, freakish work of "art". And if anime was anime, he lived up to the character's ways and personality traits. Feeling the so called Gilbird, I found the on switch which was simpler than I had first imagined.

The cute yellow bird opened it's black twinkling eyes to the world, shook it's feathers instinctively. like a real bird would, and started to flap in the closed off area of my room.

"_Gilbird!_"

The air in front of my face was occupied by the chasing figure of the supposedly named Gilbert Beilschmidt, who continued to go about the perimeter of my room to capture his feathered companion. His heavy boots stomped on my carpeted ground, and the little yellow bird, not recognizing his master, landed to safety upon the tall plastic lamp near my desk across my room. As I expected, the Prussia Unit swung for the top of the shade of the lamp, knocking the base down and clipping off the finial. I didn't care for the cost, but it was the only lamp I had ever received, and it was the only good piece of property I had, it was even better than the regular light from the fan on the ceiling. I got upset, and worried for the first time in my life.

"Gilbird, don't you see the great awesomeness of your old buddy?! You're being unawesome. Get down here!,' the man roared in a heavy, husky-like German accent. The yellow bird answered in defiance by landing on the literature-filled book shelf above the window on the wall opposite of the door, all the summer reading and Pre-AP books took space there as well as separate portraits I drew of my mother and Maria. The bed was opposite the wall that housed the desk. "The completely awesome me will have to force you down!,' Gilbert announced with his index finger at the bird.

"Mr. Prussia, please let me!" I called as I picked myself up and stood next to a potentially dangerous piece of hardware. Eyes that shined like fire rubies looked down, surprised at me as I made my way under the bookshelf. If Flying Mint Bunny made their machinery as realistically as the limitations of physics allowed them, then I should be able to tame the bird.

Without thinking, I grabbed Gilbert's forearm, and took a few wood chips from where the finial had hit the surface and I stayed completely stock still. Several solid moments were spent like this, my hand openly offering the artificial bird wood chips, and staying as still as I could. When the fluffy puff of feathers finally flew down to look curiously at them in my hand, I closed it, putting half my palm on its wing and side of stomach, my thumb near its head. Releasing Gilbert, I gave him his little friend.

"Here you go, safe and sound," I said politely to him with a smile.

There was a nice moment where he looked at me in surprise, and let Gilbird on his shoulder.

"That was awesome, not as awesome as myself of course but still._ Now... to conquer your vital regions!"_

Laughing, the red eyed man took a swipe at my breasts and then another at my underwear area. Thanks to Aikido, I managed to barely dodge both. This thing was fast... I took on a wide defensive stance four steps back. All Aikido needed was assessment of the opponent and precision. The perfect defense for girls. I'm glad I was finally able to test out my fourth degree orange belt, to tell the truth. His left hand took a diagonal dive from my right shoulder downwards, both my arms were pointed straight like scythes. I quickly blocked with my left hand, sliding it down his striking arm while simultaneously pushing the balance of his body in the same direction of my hand, leaning him to show his back to me, defenseless. My right hand pushed his back forward, my other hand was using his own to strike his own neck, bruising a pressure point there, and I let him drop to the floor in front of me.

This execution was called irimi nage from yokomenuchi. He just laid there, his face upwards at me in shock.

"Zis is not awesome,' he complained as he rubbed the sore pressure point as he got up. I was impressed that he wasn"t complaining or reacting from the pain. "Girls don't- they can't fight back!"

"They didn't exactly send you to an ordinary girl,' I said pointedly.

The sound of impending footsteps filtered through the bottom opening of my door. Oh no. Maria woke up from all the ruckus I made, and she usually sleeps like-

The Prussia unit and I were distracted from my declaration to pay attention to my younger sister fresh from an interrupted night's sleep. According to the belief to relieve unhealthy pressure from breasts at night, girls shouldn't wear bras under their pajamas. Referring to this statement would explain a third of the problem. The second thing is that our A/C system turns off periodically at night so my younger sister sleeps in her underwear. The last part was; there was only for feet separating my little sister from a heat-seeking, perverted adult male.

"Sis?," my little sister rubbed her eyes, loose hair hanging on her shoulders. "What's all the noise?"

María's gaze caught sight of Gilbert, she instantly closed the door. I proposed that she was now running to her room next door, and locking up tight, knowing Prussia thanks to actually watching the show. That little fact saved her, because seconds after she had opened the door, the expression on the country's face changed from annoyed to a disturbing mixture of sexual excitement and dark thoughts. For some reason, the darkness of it all seemed to radiate from the male through the air.

"Your vital regions are miiiine!' he thundered, forgetting the pressure point completely to run to the door.

There isn't much I can do, my thoughts rushed through all scenarios that could happen in the minutes to come, most of them ending in this creature getting a hold of my sister. The very possibility of them upset me deeply, and my emotions were threatening to overthrow me, but I fought to keep them at bay. Right now, nothing mattered except for María, my baby hermanita. I dropped down in a crouch, throwing out my leg in a judo sweep, knocking Gilbert backwards to land haphazardly in the box, where I slammed the lid closed and put on the latches as quick as I could. Sighing in relief, I sat down on top of the surface.

**_Crack!_**

Hands burst from the wood, making holes and they held me down against the lid with a strength that made me gag aloud. He still wanted her. Wanted to violate my sister. But why? She hasn't done anything to deserve such a fate... she's just a baby.

_"Vital regions can't escape me! I vill seize all!,'_ the muffled roar said.

I was in no position to break free. He had me. I couldn't do anything. I would never beg but... I was desperate. The whistle of strong wood straining was heard. In mere minutes he was going to break out. No... no...

_"Mr. Prussia please!,' _my hands clawed at his arms tearing them apart from around my waist. _"Please listen, do anything you want to me just don't touch my little sister...I...I love her!" _Gilbert's force insisted. _"Don't you have a sibling that you care about?! Someone you watched grow up, someone you would do everything in your power to protect? _Maria means the world to me. My mother too. I promised my Dad that nothing would happen to them. It doesn't matter if something happens to me, so if you don't go near them, I wouldn't be breaking my promise. So please, Mr. Prussia...don't hurt my baby sister."

It had been seven minutes before I noticed that his grip had loosened. It had been six when I realized that I had been holding my breath. It had been five that I became clear to me that I had been crying, but not loud enough for the unit to notice. It had been four when I noticed even my sister in the next room had gone completely silent. It had been three minutes when my watch chirped the late hour. It had been two when I had fallen out of my shocked and adrenaline pumped stupor. And in the first minute of those seven I had seen flashing memories of my father when he had been at home.

"_Papi, papi!" _

_"Hola mi muneca bonita, como estas?(Hello my pretty doll, how are you?" _

_"Bien!(Good!)"_

_"Gracias a dios (Thank God)."_

I had been three years old in that memory. It's really hard to forget the sad things with me.

"Hey! It is not awesome to leave the great me in here after I calm down! Get _off! _It's hot in here!" a muffled voice complained.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

I promptly slid off the box, minding the gaping holes that were now a part of what made up its matter. Although before I undid the latches, I grabbed a guitar from the storage closet in the hall as a final resort weapon.

_Chack, chack, _the latches snapped as I undid them. Holding the instrument aloft, the lid, for the second time today, swiveled open, and the the snow haired man was sitting up, his Gilbird unit sitting peacefully on his shoulder.

"Vhy are you holding the guitar like zat?"

"No reason."

"Now since you won me, I get the bed,' he said quickly as he flopped on top of my bed, ruining the sheets.

"Oh no you don't! Toys go in the closet,' I answered, more than a little peeved at his selfish and childish behavior.

The pale skinned unit laughed uproarisly, wiping a tear from his left eye.

"You're funny. I'm too awesome to be a toy, Units are the closest things to humans, _dummkopf_."

_I'm very certain that the last word was an insult. I sounded like one._

"Is that so?,' I began. "Well, you must have sawdust in your ears if you think you can reside in my home and order me around. Off the bed."

The ruby-eyed man smirked, his expression clearly cocky in nature.

"Und vat if I say no?"

I usually do not sink to my past Third Level, breaking out of my composure, but I think that everyone does so at least once in their lifetime, so might as well let the teapot boil over.

I chuckled darkly, feeling my face contort with malice. For some reason, this made black vertical lines appear on Gilbert's face with the color of blue as well, with a surprised expression to boot.

"Well... let's just say that once I'm done, you won't be able to have vocal chords to scream with anymore. They would've been torn right out, cutting off your screams mid-torture," I explained grimly. He emitted a strange high pitched noise from his throat.

"Ze-zere's no need to go zat far. I don't like zis bed anyway, i-it's too bumpy, ha ha,' he stuttered, trying to remain composed.

Gilbert quickly climbed off the bed, folding his hands in front of him as he stood by his box.

I walked to my closet and retrieved some blankets, pillows, and body pillows and a matted foam platform layer. I put these down to also get a hammer, mini saw, sandpaper, and a packet of nails. I laid them out in front of the crate and opened the door to my room, double checking to see if Maria's room was locked and went to the storage room in the hall to get out matching pajama pants and top that Dad had left behind. I tossed these to him once I reentered the room.

"Go change,' I said dully as I started to work on the box with the mini saw.

Prussia let out a wolfish grin.

"Kesesesese...,' he chuckled. "Could it be zat little gurl vants to see my five meters?"

A vein throbbed somewhere on top of my head.

"As if,' I said unimpressed. "The bathroom is the last one down the hall, it's the only door that's painted white."

"Fine, fine,' he muttered, a bit miffed, but exited the room. I made sure to see if he entered the bathroom, looking through the slight opening of my door. He did. In fact, he seemed to be looking for it specifically. I just hoped he didn't make a mess in our restroom.

Using the hammer, the latches were removed, and I cut two inches from the shorter sides of the lid, and removed the top and bottom square shaped timber from the whole box. I made the saw cut the cut one of the sides down half its width. I smoothed out the bottom corners of the box with the sand paper, and nailed the lid on top of the smaller side, straight against the taller one where /i drove nails in it to support the lid. I tested the whole structure out, pushing it underneath my bed, and pulling it out again like a drawer, was when Mr. Beilschmidt came in, fully dressed for sleep. The pajamas I had him wear were dark blue button up, collared, long sleeved top, and long pant bottoms. It was satin, so I'm sure it was comfortable against his skin.

"Does it fit right?,' I asked him.

"_Ja, _it does,' he pointed at the now transformed box. ',Vat is zat?"

I put the foam matting on what was once the lid.

"It's your bed. I constructed it put of your packaging crate,' I simply said.

"Vait. You made it?"

"Yes,' I affirmed. "It wasn't too hard, my father taught me how to cut and build with wood. He also left behind those pajamas last year. it surprises me that they fit you perfectly.

I tuned out his bragging about how he looked good in anything, to think. Having a strange man wear my dad's clothing like it was nothing unnerved me, and the fact that it complimented his eyes and hair nicely to rub it in, and how it was just his size. I was hoping that he would find them too big. Shaking the thoughts away, I put down the two body pillows beside each other on top, followed by three layers of patchwork patterned smooth blankets. My eyes looked down at it all doubtfully.

"I still don't think it's soft enough. But anymore and I don't think it'll fit under my bed."

The Prussia Unit looked down at me in exaggerated anger and shock.

"You're going to stick my majestic self in zere?!,' he demanded, then he snickered at his words. "Zat's vat _he_ said."

I ignored his insipid latter comment.

"I mean when I have to put it away in the morning, you idiot!,' I proclaimed.

"Vatever, it's fine,' he waved off, getting another blanket and smaller pillow and making himself comfortable. "The perfect and awesome Prussia has slept in vorse places."

Putting on my default bored and disinterested expression, I started to push him far away from my bed as if he weighed the same mass as a teddy bear.

_"HOW ZE HELL ARE YOU PUSHING ME?!" _he freaked out, jerking Gilbert into the air from the perch on his shoulder.

"What do you mean?,' I asked calmly. "By pushing."

I halted once he was in front of my desk, but not before placing big flat pieces of the packaging foam around the perimeter of my bed and his.

"Vat's zat for?"

"Observe,' I stated and stomped on one near him, the foam made an unpleasant and dry squeaking sound as it split with a _pot. _

"Packaging foam makes a unique and distinctive sound when stepped on or broken, this will alert me if you come near me or get up at night, preventing you from trying anything during that time. Now, good night." \

He slumped down with an ungrateful 'Yeah, good night.', and not saying anything more. I took my brown beaded rosary in hand and kneeled in front of my bed, facing the crucifix shape I had painted over the length of my bed on the wall. I recited the Our Father and Hail Mary in Spanish.

"_En el nombre del Padre, del hijo, y del el Espiritu Santo, amen(_In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, amen_.),' _I whispered, kissing the hand that held the sign of the cross.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, amen."

To me, that prayer was the most crucial. In many situations there needs to be wisdom to recognize what is in your power to change and what isn't. I turned my head to look at Mr. Prussia.

His back was to me, so I don't know if he had fallen asleep or not. I settled under my covers, entertaining the idea that maybe he had been listening to me pray, then threw it once I convinced myself that he probably didn't care. Turning off the light, I sighed in exaustion as I stared up at my white swirl-painted ceiling. Usually I would sing a lullaby loud enough for Maria to hear, and she would sing back, but decided not to. It would probably disturb my new roomate from his sleep.

* * *

**_Closing words:_**

_**Wait until she wakes up. It seems and we all know that Gilbert is part of a chain of an order. More are coming. I'm taking suggestions on who to bring in next. Vote in your reviews! **_


	3. You snuck in? Fool!

**_Salutations everyone, this is 1Julivia. So very happy I could get this up, because my sisters are trying to boot me off the computer, anyway enjoy!_**

* * *

Morning came and not a moment too soon, my alarm clock was as dependable as always. Huh, what an impossible dream I had last night.

The unmistakable sound of snoring emanated from the far right of the room.

I mentally sighed. So much for the heavenly seconds when one forgets their troubles. (Specifically if they have a freeloader under the same roof) But I had already remade the crate so it was too late to toss him out to the corner of the pebble-filled driveway. It was trash Tuesday after all, and this man or unit had the qualifications of 'dirty' and 'useless' if I'm not mistaken, according to the manual. In anyways, I pushed the button to silence it, and turned on the light.

"Augh, vat now? Uh-"

He looked at a section above my eyes, maybe my hairline, then pointed and held his stomach, laughing hysterically.

"You look like you vent trough the electric chair, zhat bun looks like a nest! How many channels can you pick up with those curls? _Kahaha!" _

The vein pulsed on my head again.

I had a feeling we would become the best of friends, it and I. Might as well refer to it as a regular acquaintance. I picked up one of the wooden square slates from last night and _thwack_ed him upside the head, and went to the restroom to change, leaving him twitching in pain.

I changed in the bathroom, taming my hair thoroughly, pulling it back into a bun, after that I put on my thick framed black and white glasses, that obscured my eyes and the upper part of my face. I walked back into the room to see that Gilbert had already changed back into his uniform, and his bed already scooted under mine. The room looked more or less normal, except for the disregarded pieces of foam on the floor.

"Where are my dad's pajamas?" I asked with a slight accusing tone in my voice. Whether Papa was here or not, I wanted them in perfect condition.

The fiery-eyed inhabitant pointed simply with his thumb at my desk, where I saw them immaculately folded. In fact, I think the creases in them before when they were held in the hall closet were completely gone.

I poked at them cautiously, not believing my eyes.

"Which angel of cleanliness blessed this?" I asked dubiously.

"You zhink zhe flawless me is a slob? _Nien, _I'm way too cool and awesome."

"That's nice, I'll give you a gold sticker when I come home," I said sarcastically.

"You got school?"

"Yes, and I want you to behave while I'm gone. Mother has already gone to work, and María is getting ready. I'll cook breakfast, so the both of you can eat. If you get bored, write in your journals or read a book. You can turn on the television in the living room if you want, just don't make a mess. And don't go out of the house, if you do... it won't be a pleasant afternoon," I warned.

I left him there, walking myself out of the room, and went to make bacon and eggs for María and my... houseguest. My mind calculated how much time it would take me to grow accustomed to the fact that I had a twenty-year-old Prussian and/or German man in my room with a bird in tow. The results and percentages were more or less in a few weeks, judging by how much I would spend my job earnings helping my uncle at the martial arts studio to clothe, feed and occupy him with. It's always money to come first on my list of worries, as is the case with most families in a similar financial status. The kitchen is painted with orange, creamy homey colours, making one immediately think of a farm or of heat once you enter. There were little fruits made of china decorating the walls, and a church calendar on the wooden pantry door that announces the birthdays of various famous priests and saints, as well as mass hours in the area of Pasadena and greater Houston above the counter, and a depiction of the Last Supper above the counter in a painting.

The counter where María and I had Mexican rice yesterday afternoon. That seemed like a whole other dimension away, when my life had taken a turn for the difficult with fate making my name win in a draw for a human-like piece of machinery. That would have been acceptable had not said piece of scientific testing had possessed the personality of a corrupt, irresponsible, and lazy anime character.

But, it is childish of me to dwell on the past. _No matter how _peeved _the very thought of all the events that had transpired made me feel. _

"Uh... sis? That dark feeling you're casting out is scaring me."

"Oh, sorry it's nothing."

"Are you sure? I have a hunch that maybe you were still upset over the draw you technically won," María said worriedly.

I tried keeping my voice low and concentrated, but the Vein Throb would not calm down for the life of me.

"_**No... why in the **_**world **_**would you saythat?" **_

"_Kyaaaa! You'restillmad, you'restillmad, you'restillmad, you'restillmad! Gomen ne, gomen ne!" _

My little sister then took the liberty of begging for my forgiveness by latching onto my leg and crying hysterical tears of solace.

"María Xitlalli Amez, pull yourself together," I said with a smile as I began to pry her off my important traveling limb.

"No, no, no! Not until you forgive my sin!"

"An honest mistake is not a sin."

Her soupy watery chibi-like eyes looked up at me, her lips quivering with the vibration of a radio wave line.

She lifted up her fist.

"Punish me~"

I made a defeated expression, while exhaling through my nose in a huff.

I gave the most non-existent slap in the history of blows on her backhand and pulled her up, with extraneous work for she had become about as solid as a noodle, sat her down, and served her breakfast. While I sprinkled pepper and butter on her fish, and served her Mexican rice with onions to add taste, María sat in wordless wonder in front of me in the counter, watching my handiwork.

"So, did last night go okay with Prussia? He didn't do anything _too_ bad did he?" she questioned.

"No not really, he just needs a prod in the right direction and he behaves. Also to turn him down if he requests anything inappropriate. I need to find out more about him or them if I want to deal with this as painlessly as possible. But I'm sending the next ones back immediately. We cannot have the world taking over our house and-"

I stopped because she had started giggling.

"The whole world is coming to take over our _casa_," María smiled, explaining.

I couldn't help but release a small grin.

"Yes that's it, because even though international countries should be living under our roof," I continued, her giggles turning to a laugh, and mine started to come out as well. "And the entire earth could be in the palm of our hands, and technically we would be their owners, even then- ha, ha- e-even th-then, we still ha-ha-have to k-keep everything under control, okay?"

My little sister forced herself to stop, so the both of us could be serious.

"Okay, sis, I'll ask one of my friends to let me borrow Hetalia DVDs for research."

"Fine, I'll watch them."

And with that, after receiving a rude short command for food from our new guest, which I patiently submitted to, I saw María off to her bus, waited for mine, got on when it came, and fell into vast theories on how the people at Flying Mint Bunny Inc. could ever make androids that seemed so close to a human.

Perhaps in the library before class, I could do some research.

* * *

Prussia looked on as the black haired teen left the room, leaving him alone. _Gott, _didn't she understand the supreme awesome existence that was his? Why was she so relaxed around him? The others that had won him before immediately had sent him back, that's why this time they had made that rule that winnings couldn't be returned this time around. The head women at the industry were all heartbroken that the awesomeness that was him got rejected from the former girls that had won him. All of them, like this one most likely, probably wanted some other Unit. But who could possibly want someone other than the invincible him? Plus since she was a girl, shouldn't she be worshipping him like the superb awesomely great god he was?

_Yes zhat's right, _Gilbert thought smugly. _Bow before zhe undeniably awesome me and I vill repay you by taking over your vital regions! Kesesese~ _

But that was all in due time, sure she had managed to beat his ass down the night before, but if there was one thing Prussia was, it was patient. Somehow, he would find out her weakness, there was nothing his careful eye would not record in the journals, or take to memory. But first, he was to rummage through her room.

What better way to get to know his new owner than to go through her private things? And maybe he would get lucky and find her unmentionables. Although, since she was fourteen, he would probably be disappointed. Hey, it was hard to tell underwear preferences and size through her loose uniform-like choice of clothing.

That was what Prussia began doing, first he opened the three drawers in her desk, although it was only a mess of paper, homework and assignments.

He smiled to himself. She seemed like the kind of person who agonizes over grades. Maybe she has one bad grade she never told her parents about, one that he could blackmail her with and tease her about. After all, even the most smartest student had at least _one _bad grade they wanted to keep to themselves, right? But as the Prussian searched more and more, the less and less likely it began to seem for him to find any mark that suggested a low grade. Or even a grade under 80.

_Vhat zhe _holle _is she? A goody two-shoes genius? Probably vith no life. _

He opened her closet and started upturning lids in boxes and on the shelf of her books. The only objects of interest he had found so far were two detailed drawings of that pantless little girl that showed up last night and an older, tired looking woman with tinted skin, that looked so much like the other girl. She was pretty, but seemed too mom-ish.

_It's probably her _mutter_, _Prussia guessed. The other girl was most likely her sibling. The second thing of interest he found had been on top of her desk. It was a paperclip bound loose-leaf stack of papers filled with scratchy writing. It had a weird title, like out of a manuscript for a story. Against his own present wants, Gilbert decided not to read it. He would be mad if someone read his journals without his permission. He flinched as he caught something about the title, where a name is usually written.

The non-country could have sworn it, but... the name _Elizaveta Hedervary _was on the paper, but when he did a double take, the name switched to _Elizabeth Amez _before his eyes. His gloved hand rubbed his head. Maybe he was hungry or something... maybe he should go bug the girl for food. Putting everything back the way he had found it, and not giving a damn about the annoying foam pieces, Prussia closed the door behind him and heard two voices coming from around the corner as he walked through the hall, he stopped at the right wall, hearing the voices come from just around it.

"..._you'restillmad_, _you'restillmad_, _you'restillmad!_ Gomen ne, gomen ne!"

The sound of half a body hitting the floor was heard.

"María Xitlalli Amez, pull yourself together," that was Elizabeth's voice.

"No, no, no! Not until you forgive my sin!" Mary or María said this.

"An honest mistake is not a sin."

This conversation made Prussia think twice about whether he should really treat the black haired girl better, keyword; only _think. _He kept up eavesdropping, waiting to figure out something else about his new home, but it was only little things that didn't matter. Gilbert was about to give up and just demand food already until-

"So, did last night go okay with Prussia? He didn't do anything _too_ bad did he?" the younger girl's voice asked.

Said country tensed, straining himself to hear the answer, although he would guess that the bun girl would probably start a list of complaints just like all the other girls who returned him.

So he was surprised to hear this; "No not really, he just needs a prod in the right direction and he behaves. Also to turn him down if he requests anything inappropriate. I need to find out more about him or them if I want to deal with this as painlessly as possible. But I'm sending the next ones back immediately. We cannot have the world taking over our house and-"

That was when her sibling interrupted her by the sound of chuckling.

Prussia wanted to run out and just slap away that girl's plate, and ask her how the hell was he supposed to eavesdrop with her giggling like an idiot and distracting the conversation?! But, he stayed put. The conversation kept going, and as Elizabeth started laughing, and tried continuing what she had been trying to explain, only she wanted to keep María giggling. Well, maybe she wasn't a _huge _jerk of a girl. This refreshed him, and for the first time, he was hearing laughter that was not just his own. He had forgotten how it sounded like.

A hunger pain surged his stomach. Instinctively, he appeared from the corner and commanded to be served food. This was a default habit, so it's not like he did it on purpose. It was just in his nature. Unexpectedly, the girl with glasses served him food without a word, and as he ate on the counter, he watched the sisters leave.

Well, Prussia was alone, that much was it. The fish was well buttered, and well cooked, and the rice was a color he had never seen before, except in Spain's cooking. It even had a sort of spicy taste to it that he liked. He put the plate in the sink, but then washed it. The Elizabeth girl would most likely give him hell about it. Opening the fridge door, he started to look for something to drink.

_Man, zhere's no beer..., _he thought dejectedly. What kind of household didn't hold any booze? Gilbert turned on the TV, only to find that nothing good was on. Meh, America had too many commercials, and not enough things to watch. He sat up on the green couch in the dark of the den. Speaking of Alfred, he wondered when the next Unit will arrive. He hoped it would be his little bro or one of his friends. Raising hell with the trio united would be the awesomest way to spend his time here.

He snickered. Miss Four Eyes would definitely have a lot more trouble on her hands soon. After all, the least Flying Mint Bunny would give her, the winner, was fourteen units.

_Oh, yeah, zhe awesome power of mine vill start zhe party. _

But first, he will deal with the boredom. You don't really expect the amazingly cool and great Prussia to follow orders, _ja_? He immediately got up, and went outside, locking the door. It was a quiet and green neighborhood, everyone had an old huge tree in their yard, or over fragrant gardens. The high pitched siren cry of a train barely reached the non-country's ears. He noted that there were two forests, one to his left and one behind him, a plain field filled with small sunflowers behind the two streets in front of him. It was so peaceful, Gilbert wanted to scream. The street was so silent, how the heck could anyone live here? He started walking along the street to see other young teens climbing on school buses. In three seconds, another pulled up and he started climbing up.

"Hold up, hold up,' the bus driver behind the wheel stopped him in his tracks.

"Vhat's zhe problem with zhe awesome me getting in zhis bus?"

"You a high school student? Cuz you sure as heck don't look like one to me,' she said, eyeing his military uniform, and, after all, he looked like a legal adult.

"No, but my um, _friend _goes, I'm coming vith her for today,' he quickly said.

"Well, honey you better tell yo' "_friend_", that new students have to be registered at the school, now... get outta my bus!" He climbed off, and the bus hurried away, kicking up the street dust stinging his eyes. _Jeez, zhat bus lady vas full of it! _He thought. _Not letting zhe charming, great me on! _

A kind senior citizen that had been watching the whole scene, Miss Prudence, from one door down across the street from the Amez household, had come to the stop to see her granddaughter off, she approached the unit.

"Excuse me, young man,' she began, catching his attention. She had white hair, tied in a loose bun, and had wire bifocals on her nose. She looked every bit the part of a caring old lady. "But would you care for a ride to school? I drive my grandson there too, would you like to join us?"

Prussia couldn't believe his luck. Senior citizens were always suckers- er, _generous- _to people that needed help. He accepted, and was led to a nice blue Audi SQ5, where a black haired older teen sat waiting in shotgun, the lady making herself comfortable behind the wheel. The teen gave him a tense look, but he probably just couldn't handle Prussia's awesomeness. He childishly climbed in the back, and the car started on its destination.

"My name is Prudence,' the old lady introduced, and the black haired boy greeted him with a 'What's up?'.

"Uh, Gilbert,' Prussia thought it was fine if he gave her his human name, but the boy glanced at him through the rearview mirror, he saw that the teen's eyes were blue.

"Where did you move from, Gilbert?"

"Oh, I came from Pru-"

"Grandma, did you know we're getting foreign exchange students?,' the boy interrupted.

Oh, wow, how can this bozo kid interrupt the awesome execution of his sentence?

"It's rude to cut people off when they're talking, Chris dear. But no, I didn't know that."

"We're getting kids from Germany and Russia and stuff, so he probably came from out of the country,' the boy declared.

"Oh, how nice! That must explain his accent,' she looked at Prussia through the rearview with laughing eyes. "It must be scary for you to be in a strange country."

"_Ja, _it's nothing, my awesome self can handle it!,' he boasted.

Prudence laughed. "It's so good to have confidence in yourself,' she smiled. The nice car pulled up in front of the teal and white front entrance.

"Later grandma,' the boy that answered to 'Chris' said in the open passenger window.

"Good luck, kiddo,' she said cheerfully and drove off. Prussia was about to run in past the doors, giving the teen the slip, but Chris took out something from his pocket. It was a flat screen device or something, he touched it with his fingers, making the graphics follow along.

"Product number #044287215, face forward towards me,' he called out to him.

Prussia's mind disconnected from his bodily actions, like the click of a Lego leaving it's partner. His body moved in jerking spasms, to face towards the blue eyed boy.

The boy put away the device in the large pocket of his hoodie.

He took a step or two towards the country, surveying his face. "What do you think you're doing? It's against company regulations to do anything that would lead to knowledge about the incorporation,' the boy said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Like I vould care vhat those lab coat broads vill do! I'm too awesome!,' Gilbert yelled, luckily there was no one to see them at the front entrance, first class had already started.

Chris grinned. It seemed that Elizabeth didn't reprogram him at all.

"They're not gonna do anything to you, President Sherri and the others are nice, they love their creations too much,' Chris informed. "But, you can't say or do anything that will arouse suspicion from the US government or any government for that matter, to close down FMB, we exist only to bring the happiness of girls to their doorstep."

"That makes you sound gay, Mr. Delivery Guy,' Prussia teased, adding a 'kesesese'.

Christian frowned, but didn't say a word. He was used to the Prussia units he tested out for technics, not reacting meant he was winning. Gilberts only want to make a rise out of you.

"Anyvay, my brain hurts, give me zhe release signal und take me out of factory settings!,' the Prussian demanded.

"You're not exactly _in _factory settings, or have a brain, but whatever, okay,' the blue eyed teen said, knowing full well it was a trick. The device beeped the release, and Prussia darted towards him at top speed.

"_Kaha! Vital regions!,' _he announced, but Chris shin blocked him without looking up from the control device, and gave him a dropkick to the side, crashing him to the grass and off the paveway.

"How zhe hell do you people do zhat?! No one else did it before,' he complained.

"Welcome to Pasadena, Texas,' Chris smiled, putting away the device. "And I'm not 'no one else'."

Gilbert picked himself up. "Zhat's exactly vhat zhat glasses chick said."

Christian hid a smile, pleased he knew more about his future friend. At least, he _hoped _she regarded him as her friend. So far, he was getting the hate vibes, that she didn't like him at all. Which was funny, because he was fond of her since day one of art class, her originality daunted him. She wasn't like other girls at all.

_Baaaaaaaaaaargh! _The buzzer for second period nagged all in earshot(which was the whole campus). The raven-haired teen went in, pulling the Unit along, taking out his ID and getting a visitor's badge for Gilbert. He also gave him a black stretch bag thing with holes he forgot the proper name for, in case he needed to hide his face. Chris headed to class, feeling guilty about leaving a Prussia Unit loose in an unsuspecting school.

* * *

It was in the end of my third class that my back had drawn this chilly, spidery feeling, the one I usually get when my subconscious knows something bad will happen. I tried not to seem alarmed as I headed for fourth class, but it was definitely bothering me. After all, I had a corrupt adult in the house after all.

Suppose I should come home only to find the house in ruins?! I thought in horror. How in the Lord's name was I supposed to explain it to mom?!

"Hey, Lizzie!"

A sudden upbeat voice dispelled my thoughts. It was the bright Maxine herself, in a see through blouse with a pastel pink tank top underneath, skinny jeans with silver cheetah prints on one leg, and fuzzy creme platform heels that seemed to look like Vans sneakers, and a matching ascot around her neck. Her signature golden hoop earrings pronouncing themselves loudly.

"Hello, Maxine, how was your day?," I asked her. I was set on being a good friend, no holds barred, and that included being polite as a friend should.

"Awesome, totally cool. Thank you for asking," she said sincerely.

'Awesome'. That word was starting to irk me something dreadful.

"Glad to hear."

She fell into a conversation with Rebecca, Tiffany not too far behind, adding in her two cents in when the opportunity presented itself. But always, Maxine tried getting me to join the conversation. While I appreciated her concern, I still wasn't used to being part of any friendship quite yet, and I quickly told her that I would be awkward and hesitant from time to time, so she shouldn't take it to heart.

Her emerald orbs appeared surprised for but a moment, but soon welcomed puzzled understanding with a smile.

"I truly want to talk to you, I've always admired your opinions, you're so interesting and wonderful to listen to, you know? Besides, you speak your mind during class, surely you can do it with a friend outside of it?"

What she said awoke me in a fantastical way. Had I been asleep, covering my eyes from the world of true people who sincerely wanted my friendship? The sprout dormant in my heart blossomed and opened its face towards the sun's rays.

I had a friend. A real one. The edges of my lips lifted, but I suppose it was too soon to call it a smile.

The four of us entered the empty room, and Mr. Grumman caught sight of me with the other three, with a pleased and relieved look on his face. Hmm, maybe people can genuinely worry for someone they aren't overly familiar with. That made the weight on my mind and the spidery feeling lift from my shoulders a bit. I sat down at my desk, half listening to Tiffany and Maxine's conversation.

What kind of technology did Flying Mint Bunny use?

It must be ahead of its time, should it not? I had found nothing on the internet, no websites, no anything. How do you make robots or androids that function, think and feel so similarly to homosapiens? Some sort of processing device that takes in large amounts of information and organizes them to create a fully able intelligence closely based on the complicated human mind? And how did they build the bodies? Prussia had skin, that much I could gather. He also had nerve endings, otherwise my attack last night wouldn't have had effect at all. He also ate and breathed, I saw him eat the food I cooked, and he snored as well. He had a stomach, and a digestive system. If he wasn't the way he was, then I could study him more closely. Gilbert didn't look artificial as well. If I hadn't received him just yesterday, I would've thought he was just a good looking man.

Hold one hundred milli-seconds.

Did I think he was good looking just now? My mind assessed all, as more students filed in, class initiating. Well, he was, I had to admit. If he didn't have certain habits and was less obnoxious, I would like him enough to give him special attention. Alas, such was not the case at all. He was just too... too...

"AWESOME, I FOUND YOU!" Prussia threw open the door.

Santamaríajesúscristodenuestroseñor.

Oh my dear God. He was here.

Fluffy white hair the color of frost on the window, something I would never see. Vermilion irises the color of a blood ruby, something I would never have, and the albino snowbank skin of a person unused to the Texas sun, something I might as well give up on. All with the most oblivious grin ever, staring straight at me smugly.

Every set of eyes present was looking on at the interruption, and Mr. Grumman was at the whiteboard, completely bamboozled.

"I beg your pardon?," he pondered. "Who might you be? Interrupting a class is a serious matter, you do know?"

Gilbert turned to him, his white teeth familiarizing themselves in his trademark expression.

"Perhaps you common unawesome people may not know, but right now, I totally graced zhis classroom vith mien presence! I came here to find Elizabeth 'cause I vas bored. Now zhat I found her I can-"

"This is my distant relative, Mr. Grumman!," I blurted, standing up and placing myself between them, thinking up a story on the spot, no matter how much it hurt me to tell a lie. "He's visiting from out of the country, so he's not accustomed to our culture quite yet, please excuse his behavior."

The licensed teacher looked at the Unit doubtfully, but seemed to trust me. He saw the visitor's pass, and gave me a visible signal of acceptance.

A sigh.

"Very well, you may talk to him outside in the hall."

"Thank you, sir."

I took him by the arm, ignoring his protests, I led him to the door, but not without noticing a frozen look on Maxine's face before I completely closed the door behind me.

Fuming, I pulled him near the blue door of the girls restroom, the shining white linoleum on the floor ever glinting our reflections. Of course, keeping my composure to seem emotionless, I let him drink from the water fountain when he claimed he was thirsty. His eyes fell down on me once more, and he had this strange expectant look, as if he were waiting for me to scold him.

Which is not a bad idea, by the way.

I let all minor thoughts fade into gray matter in my cerebrum, and concentrated the information to make organized sentences, carefully choosing correct vocabulary, synonyms and antonyms falling into correct place order. My sister has seen me do this, each time I did it was to answer her questions as quickly and accurately as possible, she said my eyes appeared to lose their shine and become dead, and my face went slack, into emotionless calculation.

Bizz, whir whir, click, the wiring lines in my head went.

"One; you completely disobeyed me, two; you entered a public school without third party supervision, which means illegally, three; students who are familiar with anime could have recognized you, or caused a riot, four; you interrupted my valuable learning time. Five; what would you do if the security team caught a full grown adult with no ID in the building? They'd put us in lockdown!"

"Vell, I have a perfect solution for all of zhem!"

"Really?"

"Yep!"

"Pray tell, would you mind telling me what it is?"

This I have to hear.

He pulled out, of all things, a black ski mask and slipped it over his face, looking every bit suspicious.

"I'll just wear zhis and run like hell!" He threw a dramatic pose.

I was rendered speechless by his blatant stupidity.

"If I were security, I'd taser your sorry self on sight,' I said dully.

My train of thought derailed, as the impending sounds of heels clicking against the ground started to come closer.

"Hurry, we need to take cover,' I said hastily, and the closest place was the girl's washroom. I pushed him inside.

"Vhy zhe heck did you choose zhe girl's restroom, vhat if I have to take a leak?,' he complained to me once we were inside.

"There are normally no urinals in regular households, you fool,' I said boredly.

"Yeah? Vell I-"

The door swung open. And in entered Maxine Havisham. She had a breathless air, as if she had a recent heart attack or ran three miles. Her face was set angrily, but not too serious, like how a little child would be before an adorable temper tantrum. Her stance on those platform shoes looked precarious and wobbly, but somehow they supported her anatomy.

I found my shoulders being grabbed and shook, to and fro, her height improved by the footwear, she was a good five inches taller.

"So you won the draw?! You lucky gal, do you know how many different aliases my people came up with for me so I could win that draw? Two hundred and thirty-three! You should be grateful to God!," she said hysterically.

"Wha-what?! You entered the draw? My little sister entered my name for me! I had nothing to do with this! What people? How did you leave class?"

Maxine released me, and I momentarily felt dazed. This girl had some surprising strength when she wanted. She flipped her straightened red hair over one shoulder. "I told Mr. Grumman that it was a lady's emergency, and he let me off the hook. I have my own protection team of bodyguards that do what I tell them," she then proceeded to sink to the floor on her hands and knees in defeat. "But you see, my parents are watching my credit card account that I use for anime merchandise, and they threatened to take my credit card for clothes if I made another purchase."

"You have separate credit cards for different kinds of buys?! You have bodyguards?! Just how rich are you?!," I asked, my head was spinning at the possible numbers and money amounts. How in humanity's pocket does this fourteen year old have more than one credit card account?

Out of nowhere, she appeared fully standing in front of me, exaggerated tears and sadness on her face.

"But no amount of money in the world could buy me the luck I needed to win that online draw! You don't even like anime or Hetalia! If they were mine, I would be in fangirl heaven with the wonderful yaoi footage I could record with them!"

Hold it. Brrr...whiz-whiz...click.

yaoi; noun Yaoi is a Japanese word, which is actually something of an acronym. It comes from "YAma nashi, Ochi nashi, Imi nashi", which means "no climax, no point, no meaning". In speech and writing, it's a slang term used to refer to a genre in anime and manga that focus on homosexual relationships, usually between men. Yaoi tends to involve graphic sex, often with little or no plot. The female equivalent is yuri. A related genre is shonen-ai, or "boys' love", which tends to involve less sex and more cuddling (and plot). Both genres are popular with the female demographic.

The database in my mind flashed me the dictionary entry. The silence in the restroom was comical. I went on to slap Maxine's face, more soft than hard.

"Leave your disgusting obsession on the printed page, please." I plainly said. "It's one thing to quietly drool over it, and it is another thing entirely to satisfy your selfish desires on what could be the closest things to a human being."

She ignored the fake slap, taking it as a little punishment that she deserved, by the understanding gaze she gave me.

"How do you know what yaoi means?"

"María brought home a book on anime and manga terms she borrowed from a friend, I picked it up by accident and read through it and thanks to my photographic memory, I can never forget the obscene things I saw in there, no matter how much I wanted to," I relayed.

"You have photographic memory?! Sugoi~"

Brrr...whiz-whiz...click.

sugoi adj. The Japanese word for "cool".

"Uh, thank you?"

"Oh, that look on your face, did your memory get into gear? It kinda looks like the empty look you see in anime. Anyway, we need to get back to class," Maxine pointed out.

I regarded Mr. Beilschmidt. "Yes, but how will we will deal with this?"

"Do not regard zhe awesomeness in the room as "zhis"! Zhe least you could do is call me 'your awesomeness'!"

"There is no theoretical way that you can get me to call you that," I simply said, the disinterest back in my speech.

Maxine giggled, and bowed, gesturing with her arms to the door.

"This way to your limousine, your awesomeness!," she said amused.

Prussia looked down at me with a self-satisfied smile.

"Glad someone around here appreciates my greatness!" He started to walk to the door.

"Limousine?," I asked.

The redhead gave me a smile.

"Yeah!," she pulled out a walkie-talkie out of apparently nowhere. "Pull up in the front entrance, Howard. I expect you to arrive in ten minutes exactly. Thank you."

"As you wish, Mistress Havisham." a sweet elderly voice replied from the speaker. We all followed the blue signs to the front entrance, where indeed there was a black spotless, shiny stretch limousine pulled up in the parkway. A well dressed uniformed chauffeur opened the last door, and swept his hand towards the entrance.

"Oh it's not for me Howard, I wouldn't dream of disappointing my parents with missing even a minute of learning time, it;;s for this gentleman here,' she said pointing to Prussia, she returned her gaze at me.

I waved my hand in the air as if to say, 'what a load of tripe', but let my Unit on anyway.

"Awesome!,' Gilbert exclaimed as he happily got on. "You have beer in here?"

"Of the finest and hand picked brand imported from out of country,' Howard, the limousine driver informed him.

"Tell him your address,' Maxine said to me.

"Um I live on thirty street past the freeway entrance,' I told him. With a polite tip of his hat, he closed the door and took off, me staring in amazement and stupefied beyond belief.

"Thank you very much, it's so kind of you to let me impose upon you,' I told her as the both of us began walking back inside, going towards the Core subjects section of the school.

"Think nothing of it,' she insisted joyously. "You better get used to me giving you stuff and doing you favors, cuz I love making people I care about happy."

I stopped her before we could re-enter the classroom.

"Maxine, I don't feel comfortable with you giving me things and doing me generosities. I can manage on my own, friends shouldn't just lightly give things to one another just like that."

She went silent, and her eyes clouded over, as if contemplating. Then she punched my shoulder.

"You silly goose, doing stuff for each other for no reason is exactly what friends do! Your argument is invalid!,' she laughed.

And with that, I continued onward the rest of the day, and came home to, thankfully, find the house in one piece, but then had to snatch a Playboy magazine from Prussia's possession and shred it to pieces using my favorite hefty sewing scissors, and send him to bed without dinner. María laughed, telling me how funny the whole thing was, by how younger I was compared to him. I gave her my smile, she was deserving of it. I loved her so much.

When I came back to the room, I found the foam pieces neatly in rows between my bed and his, which was at the position in front of my desk where I had pushed it last night. Trying not to think too hard about it, not wanting to develop any kind of whim for him, I changed in the bathroom and tried going to sleep, after praying.

* * *

The heavy crate was pushed to the back of the loading, and tied down securely. Christian pushed back his jet black locks from his deep blue eyes, and walking down the heavy iron ramp to look at the approaching dawn. He pulled down the heavy door, and put up the ramp, and got inside the delivery truck near his partner, Ted, who helped him make deliveries because he was underage to get a license.

He sat shotgun and thought deeply about Elizabeth and her rambunctious Unit. Christian knew that to force someone's opinion or general idea upon someone else was wrong, but he was glad María entered her older sister's name. It was a beautiful thing to see, to watch someone realize the depth of a subculture. Hetalia was deep. He wished that the world he lived in would solve their struggles with the light-hearted example that Hetalia made. Maybe that was what Flying Mint Bunny was doing.

Maybe that was what he was helping with. He smiled, and tugged on a purple ribbon tied in his hair.


	4. You mean you can see me?

_**It surprises people when they read my writing, then they become friends with me only to find that I'm about as serious as Pinkie Pie. (Yes, I've been reading your bios, nothing escapes the Interrogator!) My friends say that it's just my Lizzieness. Yes, my nickname is Lizzie. It matches my personality better. And it rhymes with Dizzy. My writing is more serious than the way I really am.**_

_**Thanks to**_

_**Hetalia-FACE-Fangirl,**_

_**Your first review pulled me up, thank you!**_

_**my sister, midnightestrella,**_

_**You loveable spammer, you! Hasta la pasta!**_

_**KissesFromLissa,**_

_**Thank you for the awesome suggestion! Coming right up soon!**_

_**elisabeta H. Austria,**_

_**DawnSketchthepony,**_

_**And a special thanks to my new PM friend,**_

_**TheAmazingGenie!**_

_**What the kumquat am I doing, stalling you with this rare serious A/N? Enjoy the chapter(which is crazy long this time)! Manuals distributed by Linkforever125.**_

* * *

A light breeze blew through the room, making the stagnant air in the otherwise hot room grateful for the solitary window. The color of the room was also happy for the sunrise of the sunny Saturday morning as well, bringing light into the dark and blank habitation. Where the sleeping figures of Elizabeth in her bed, and the Prussia Unit in his, the Gilbird snuggled close by. The last two days of the week have been tiring for both of them. By "both of them", the phrase really means "Elizabeth hurting Prussia whenever he was about to grope her or María or doing something stupid, for example, taking off his clothes when it became too hot in the house, and nagging him to help around the house". Also because of Elizabeth's test on Friday to study for, and who could study through Gilbert's general havoc? There was no way that the both of them would be up at this ungodly hour.

It was four in the morning, after all.

Mrs. Angélica Amez had already left for her job as a cleaning lady for a more prosperous neighborhood where all the houses looked similar and where they didn't care whether you were from another country or not. They just wanted their house sparkling, and relieved that you were too unknowing to notice how unfairly they were paying you.

María had had a nightmare, and woke up with her mother. She was now sitting on one of the counter stools thinking about all the fan fictions she had read about having a Hetalia Unit when she still went to the public library, while all was quiet for the two other dormant persons. The complete collection of all Hetalia seasons were tucked away in her backpack, ready to be watched.

_Prussia-san can't be the only unit my onee-chan is getting right? Cuz, there could be lots more. The manual fics always have really crazy stuff happening, and so far everything is quieting down. _

Little María laid her head down, her wavy black hair surrounding her arms.

Honestly, it seemed they were both doing okay. Prussia was sent to bed without eating the night before mamá came home, but how long would they keep this up until they had to tell her? The younger Amez sister sighed. She wanted to make it up to Elizabeth somehow, María felt it was all her fault that things had become this way.

And she knew her sister, she was probably hiding her frustration of the whole situation from her to make her feel better.

_Ding! _Oh, there was the doorbell.

She hopped down from the stool.

"Who could that be?," she asked herself, pulling her faded pink robe against herself, even though her pajama pants were hot enough as it is.

Lately, María had been paranoid about the whole 'vital regions' incident and started to overdress herself, in her older sister's example. She checked through the cheap blindfolds of the side window to see that it was Christian with another delivery, behind him the cracked concrete with grass growing in the openings. Though she could hardly see his face through the dirty window. They had to clean it again soon, since mom was never home long enough to keep the house in shape, the duties of cleaning was left to her and Elizabeth.

"_Ohayou-gozaimasu_, Christian-kun," she said tiredly sweet to the uniformed teen.

"Huh, _Buenos días_, María," he said returning her greeting with a smile.

"That's a cute purple ribbon in your hair, but why is a boy wearing one?"

His hand patted the ribbon absentmindedly.

"I had to promise someone I know to wear it to work today and think of her as I wear it," he explained, kicking at the ground with his foot, hands in pockets.

"Who?"

"No one."

His blue eyes flicked towards the gigantic package.

"She's probably not gonna be very happy about this, huh?"

María thought for a moment, then shook her head.

They were both thinking the same thing.

He sighed. "Well, something tells me that _you're _going to want to keep this guy."

"_Nani_?" She asked cutely, dipping her head to the left.

Christian couldn't help but fanboy a little inside. Elizabeth's little onee-chan was so _kawaii~ _

He pulled out the manual pamphlet, and showed it to her.

"Well, see for yourself," he said kindly, like an older brother to his younger sibling would.

María peered at the cover.

**Matthew Williams: User Guide and Manual**

"_Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!," _Maria squealed, pink hearts surrounding her.

"I thought you might like it." He said laughing.

She then took action by glomp-hugging the crate with the 'this side up' stamp.

"We can't send him back, he's a blessing from above!"

"You're gonna have to convince your sister of that," Christian pointed.

"I'll handle _onee-chan_," María assured as she signed her name on the clipboard sheet. She simply tugged half of the crate in the doorway in one heave.

Which frightened Christian Handel into dropping the clipboard and pen.

"Holy Roman Empire! Just how strong are you?!"

She carefully set down the wooden package and grinned sheepishly at him.

"_Gomenasa_i, I get it from Dad and big sis. You can help if you want."

María could just imagine a bead of sweat behind his head as he stared at her blankly. But then he followed suit with the red hand truck, and they both wheeled it into the dark den, the blue from outside dimly dragging into the poorly decorated room.

"I think you just made my job about fifty-six percent easier, María-chan," he said gratefully.

"You're welcome," she smiled with her eyes closed.

"I'll let you take it from here, sayonara," he bid farewell, tipping his baseball cap to the side under his navy blue hood, and stepped outside the front door, his voice faint from across the kitchen and den.

"Bye-nii!," she waved happily. As soon as the door closed, she flipped on the switch for light, and collapsed on her knees facing the crate, the chibi moment where dark blue and vertical lines appeared came over her.

_"Santo cielos, santo cielos_," she sputtered.

_What am I gonna tell my _hermana_? How will I get her to keep him?_

"_Chotto_!," Maria proclaimed childishly, her hands in fists, her chest puffed out, and chin thrust forward, stars floating from her. "I can just do what sis does and assess all the possible things that might go wrong and tell her possible ways of things going okay with my _otaku _fangirl powa!"

Proceeding with her adorable endeavor, María opened the pamphlet that held the instructions, and sat criss cross applesauce on the dull grey carpeting.

"_Yosh_! I will do my best, believe it!"

Her black teddy bear eyes stared at the pages closely at the complex instructions and unknown words.

. . .

María's body made a poofing thud as her side flopped to the ground.

"_No puedo hacer nada_..." she muttered pathetically.

Popping up like a jack rabbit suddenly, she paced the room.

"Oh no, oh no! Wha-what will I do when she wakes up and sees the box?! Wha-what do I say?! What do I do?! OhmydearLord, OhmydearLord!"

That was the perfect time for Elizabeth to walk through the door, trying to investigate why the doorbell rang, in her trademark high neckline long sleeved nightgown.

"María, what's going on?"

"Uh, sis! Um! A new package came in...heh heh..."

The older Amez sister's ebony eyes rested upon the none-too-conspicuous whopper of a wooden structure in the sparse den.

"Oh no you don't!," she roared as her arms dragged it to the front living room as easily as María had brought it through the doorway. "I am not having another one of these plaguing my mother's house!"

Oh no! I've got to do something quick-!

She speedily disconnected the house phone just in case, and hid the extension, and placed her body protectively in front of the crate, her hands extended in a diagonal way, as if saving a stray animal from the pound.

"We can't send back this sugar sweet angel!," she insisted, making her voice not waver and her eyelids were squeezed shut, chibi insistence switched on.

Elizabeth hesitated.

María knew her anime, after all. It would be unjust of her to do away with the package without hearing all the details.

"Who is it? Which country?"

Little María saw her older sister's eyes become dead and the archive folders and data files skimming through her faraway gaze. She was most likely reviewing the customs and histories of all foreign countries to prepare her sentence.

"It's Canada. His name is Matthew Williams, he's the most shy and nice character of them all, we can't possibly send him back like a rejected puppy!"

* * *

Goodness, I hadn't realized that even anime had the mild types in their scenarios. Maybe taking in one more wouldn't be too much trouble, could it?

"Alright, let me see his guide."

Canada _was _one of the more happier and peaceful countries, according to my mental files.

She gingerly passed it to me, crossing her fingers like a little child would.

Alright, here we go.

* * *

**MATTHEW WILLIAMS: User Guide and Manual**

**CONGRATULATIONS!** You've just purchased a MATTHEW WILLIAMS unit of your very own! To ensure that you use your new buy to the very best of his abilities and that you avoid painful, unexpected brushes with death, we've provided you with this manual.

Name: Matthew Williams. Will respond to "Canada" - actually, to practically anything. He'll be overjoyed that you remembered him.

Age: 20

Place of Manufacture: Ottawa, Canada

Height: 5'10"

Weight: N/A

Length: Canada's not a big country for no reason...

* * *

My cheeks felt the disapproving frown I pulled when I read this sentence.

* * *

**Your MATTHEW WILLIAMS unit comes with the following accessories:**

One (1) large winter coat

One (1) beige military uniform

Two (2) hoodies, one red with a white maple leaf and the other white with a red maple leaf

One (1) pair of standard blue slim-cut jeans

One (1) KUMAJIROU unit

One (1) standard-size ice hockey stick

**Programming**

Your MATTHEW WILLIAMS is equipped with the following traits:

Professional Ice Hockey Player: In need of cash? Well, here's your answer! MATTHEW WILLIAMS is definitely our most skilled unit when it comes to ice hockey, so go right ahead and sign him up for an Olympic audition. Money'll be flowing to your pocket within the month!

Secret Agent: He's so invisible that not even the most up-to-date equipment can detect him, making him perfect for sneak jobs and heists. His aim is every bit as good as VASH ZWINGLI's, and MATTHEW WILLIAMS is also a wonderful gymnast.

Blackmailer: Nobody notices him, and when people are alone they tend to take liberties that they otherwise wouldn't have! Need to catch your neighbor's kid smoking, or want to prove that your bitchy sister-in-law is cheating on your brother? Just set MATTHEW WILLIAMS to work and he'll have you first-class material in a matter of hours!

**Removal of your MATTHEW WILLIAMS from Packaging:**

MATTHEW WILLIAMS is one of our kindest, most stable units, but anyone can have a bad morning! We urge you to take extreme caution when trying to reprogram or unpack him; to avoid any unfortunate injuries, we have compiled a list of ways to wake your unit up.

1. Play the Canadian anthem, or speak any dialect of French loudly by the box. He will wake happily, and after you insist that you can see him, he will be so ecstatic that you can reprogram him directly.

2. Cook French or Canadian food (poutine is a suggestion). While he eats, you can reprogram him.

3. For more modern musics. If you blare American pop music, MATTHEW WILLIAMS will shout for ALFRED F. JONES to turn down that horrible screeching (especially if the singer in question is Miley Cyrus), and he will be a bit grumpy when he gets up; you can also play Justin Bieber, to which MATTHEW WILLIAMS will apologize profusely as you reprogram him; a third pop option is to play Lady Gaga, to which MATTHEW WILLIAMS will insist that they are not dating.

4. Turn on an ice hockey game and put the volume loud enough for you to hear it down the street - which is where MATTHEW WILLIAMS' box should preferably be, to avoid any injuries caused by the box breaking open as MATTHEW WILLIAMS dashes to watch the game.

5. Start your KUMAJIROU unit up. MATTHEW WILLIAMS will get up immediately.

**Reprogramming**

After successfully waking your unit, you may reprogram him to any of the following settings:

_Quiet (default)_

_Snarky (default)_

_Hipster_

_French_

_MANADA (locked)_

_WWII-Era (locked)_

MATTHEW WILLIAMS comes, by default, in _Quiet _and _Snarky._ These modes entail that you will either ignore or simply not catch several witty comments which would have had you bursting with laughter; MATTHEW WILLIAMS' meek nature and soft voice have made him used to being overlooked, and he will not do anything if you ask him to repeat his statement five times.

_Hipster_ is unlocked by either giving him weed or giving him money to buy weed. He'll throw out his wardrobe and probably whore himself out for cash to buy low-riding jeans, v-neck shirts, baggy jackets, and emo frame glasses.

Another unlockable mode is _French_, which is really little else than a seductive MATTHEW WILLIAMS unit who purrs sweet nothings (and sometimes curse words, depending on the victim) in French and wears fashionably revealing clothes, instead of comfortably kid-friendly ones. This mode is unlocked at random - sometimes, leaving him with an IVAN BRAGINSKI or ALFRED F. JONES unit does the trick, but other times it doesn't. It depends on how MATTHEW WILLIAMS feels, and be warned that lapses into this mode can be extremely frightening. Growing up with FRANCIS BONNEFOIS had to leave some mark, after all...

One of the locked modes is _MANADA_, which is hidden for a good reason. In this mode, MATTHEW WILLIAMS is so dominant that it hurts. He will want to go out and chop down some trees while in _MANADA_ mode, and drinks a lot more than normal. He also speaks in an exaggerated Canadian accent, and will threaten you for small offenses. It can be obtained by reminding him that he is the second-largest country, or by getting him drunk with an ALFRED F. JONES unit.

MATTHEW WILLIAMS' last mode is _WWII-Era_. This is also locked, and can be unlocked by putting him together with a_ Frightened_ GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT, a _Postal_ ALFRED F. JONES, or any other unit in their wartime/uncommonly serious mode. To get him out of this mode, leave him with an _Overprotective Big Brother_ FRANCIS BONNEFOIS.

**Relationships with Other Units**

ALFRED F. JONES: He's your unit's younger twin brother, so they're already pretty close. You can interpret that any way you want to. The two of them get together to game every weekend, and ALFRED F. JONES is one of three units who always recognizes MATTHEW WILLIAMS. Your unit gets mistaken for ALFRED F. JONES all the time, but doesn't really get annoyed unless in _MANADA_ or _WWII-Era_.

FRANCIS BONNEFOIS: Your unit's father figure (and potential love interest; hey, with these units anything is possible!), FRANCIS BONNEFOIS adores his son - when he can see him - and usually speaks to him in French. He also chastises MATTHEW WILLIAMS for eating poutine all the time.

GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT: An unlikely but still hot pair, MATTHEW WILLIAMS and GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT get along far better than expected. ALFRED F. JONES and IVAN BRAGINSKI units (the two other units who always see MATTHEW WILLIAMS) do not approve, although a FRANCIS BONNEFOIS would be delighted to know that his best friend was becoming his son-in-law. (GENBEN) GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT also enjoys spending time with MATTHEW WILLIAMS, and is more likely to pounce on him randomly.

IVAN BRAGINSKI: They represent the two largest, coldest countries in the world, and like to get together to play ice hockey on Sundays. Of course, with a little push, that can go a lot further...

**Cleaning**

Your MATTHEW WILLIAMS can clean himself perfectly fine, and doesn't mind if you bathe with him.

**Feeding**

MATTHEW WILLIAMS is a great cook, especially in French or Canadian-French foods. He makes the most delicious pancakes you'll ever taste, guaranteed.

**Rest**

Your unit will sleep when he's tired, usually from about 11PM or so till dawn. Interrupting him might knock him into his _MANADA_ mode, so don't wake him up unless you absolutely have to - and even then, try to avoid it.

**Frequently Asked Questions**

Q: My unit baked these strange-smelling brownies...

A: MATTHEW WILLIAMS has quite the talent for making hash brownies. We are not responsible for any damages done while under the influence of marijuana.

Q: KUMAJIROU went missing and now MATTHEW WILLIAMS is spazzing!

A: Let KUMAJIROU return on his own. MATTHEW WILLIAMS will fix any messes he made when his bear returns.

Q: For some reason, MATTHEW WILLIAMS starts flushing whenever I yank his hair curl, and if I pull too hard he starts crying! What's wrong with him?

A: The haircurl is an erogenous zone...perhaps you shouldn't yank it anymore.

**Troubleshooting**

Problem: You opened your box and found, instead of a regular MATTHEW WILLIAMS unit, a tiny little thing who speaks only in French. The KUMAJIROU unit is also cub-sized.

Solution: Whoopsie! We've done gone and sent you a MATHIEU BONNEFOIS unit - basically the younger version of MATTHEW WILLIAMS, when he still lived with FRANCIS BONNEFOIS. If you don't want this smaller version, just ship him right back and we'll send you a MATTHEW WILLIAMS instead.

Problem: Your unit bursts into manic laughter randomly, and quite frankly it's starting to scare you.

Solution: Congrats! You've unlocked the _Cracked_ mode! In this mode, he plots world domination and is ten times more likely to end up in a relationship with a _Postal_ ALFRED F. JONES or an _Insane_ IVAN BRAGINSKI. To get him out of this mode, have KUMAJIROU distract him and then reprogram him directly. That is the only failsafe way, so don't try anything stupid!

**End Notes**

With enough care, love, and pancake batter, you'll find MATTHEW WILLIAMS to be a wonderful companion! We wish you luck and hope you have a good time with him!

* * *

Overall he was mostly a mild-mannered Unit, self-aware and disciplined, more so than the other German and/or Prussian I had (and was permanently stuck with, no matter what). At the music waking up techniques I laughed, I wasn't a big fanatic of Justin Beiber myself.

I ruled out the marijuana-induced mode, there is hardly any money to spend on entertainment, let alone a drug leaf. Also the _MANADA_ mode as well, politeness and good behavior will be controlled where I am involved. I was just worried for the _French_ and _WW-II Era_ modes. Suppose that one of the Units I receive is this Alfred fellow? Or if Gilbert becomes (I highly doubt this) _Frightened_? But as the pros outweighed the cons, I decided to give in.

"Alright then, we'll keep him."

"Yay!,' María whooped, pumping her right fist into the air in triumph.

"I'm glad you're happy," I said, my voice drained from the earlier opposition.

"Can I lay him down?! I wanna see what he looks like!," she giddily blurted, already tipping the crate back in the direction of gravity.

"Just be careful," I added, not batting an eyelash.

"Vhat's all zhe noise?," an un unpleasantly familiar husky voice asked behind me, morning dreary not uplifting from him. A yellow mass of feathers landed on my shoulder and decided to cuddle against me.

"Aw, Gilbird likes you!," my sister cooed.

"You traitor!," Gilbert roared. "After all we've been trough!"

I petted the little aerial flyer, just to shake Prussia up a bit. I actually really took to the canary. It made me wonder how such a gentle animal could hang around such a loud person.

"At least he knows who is the most awesome," I antagonized.

"You are _not_ awesome, _I'm _awesome!," he conflicted.

I lifted an eyebrow at him, bored. My attention went back to petting Gilbird.

"You ignore zhe Great Prussia?! No one ignores his Awesomeness!"

I kept petting the bird, then went back to the pamphlet.

"Now let's see, you get along with him...," I sat kneeling next to María on the carpet, turning my back to Mr. Beilschmidt, which I guess, upset him further.

"Hey! Listen to me vhen I'm calling you out! Hello?!"

He groaned, knowing I wasn't going to give him the attention he thought he deserved. Gilbert sat down on the far couch, snubbed. I felt cold chills of dislike and betrayal from where he sat, and when I turned to look, he was giving me what you would call "the stink eye". But his gaze finally took notice of the box.

"Yes!," he jumped up and ran closer to get a better view.

As María started to head towards the latches, I took Gilbird from my shoulder, and ran my digit under his beak, and he chirped happily.

"You must really like me, little guy," I softly said, suddenly feeling an emotion I could only show to my family. My hardened face fell away and I let my inner child slip out from the steel vault. The corners of my lips lifted hesitantly, not by much, but just enough to show I was content, and filled with wonder.

The bird caught my change and twittered spiritedly.

I chuckled softly.

In that second, I felt the feeling of someone watching me, and my head turned to the side rapidly.

Red eyes.

Prussia had sat down beside me, and had most likely seen me smile. A beguiled expression was in his face. The look he made took me by surprise, because it was unusual to see him in a mood other than obnoxious and arrogant. The aura of his face changed, the ethereal beauty that I had taken in before he had been activated had come back. Suddenly a vision of his sleeping demeanor floated like golden dream dust in the dark reminiscence of my mind. My heart jumped, strangely.

_A muscle shouldn't do that_, I worried. Without any other way to get that look off his face this instant, I thrust Gilbird ungracefully unto his nose, and turned to lean over the box as a way of distraction, reaching to flip off the latches myself.

The most dumb notion I had ever made, for my rear end was open to all attacks.

"_Kesese~_,' I heard him giggle deviously, a shadow spilling over my back and shoulders.

This was it. I was done for.

_Klang! Thump! _

What had that been? It sounded like a blow to the head and a bodily fall.

I straightened to see María holding a blue mini tank of helium that read **BALLOONS **on the side by the handles, and a groaning Prussia holding a palm to his forehead, trying to pick himself up. A normal human would have gained a concussion and brain damage. Regrettably, this wasn't a normal human being(and I doubt the brain damage would drastically change anything).

"Isn't that tank from your sixth birthday party?," I asked her. It had been a joyous day, before when father was still here. There had been more to go around, and more money to spend, so she had plenty of colorful balloons and enough presents to brag about. We even went to Skate World to go roller skating together, a rare luxury, that's why we kept falling on the floor boards.

"Happiest time I had, so I kept the tank. To remember it by,' she explained to me, setting it down beside her.

"Surprisingly convenient secret double use as a weapon," I complimented her.

"Thank you!," she said with enthusiasm.

In unison, we both lifted the lid.

The Canadian Unit looked blissfully and heavenly asleep, long eyelashes, fair normal complexion, wavy short golden blonde locks, with the famed erogenous curl/cowlick hovering over his face, impossibly. A fuzzy polar bear was drawn into itself across the winter coat he was wearing. Adorably, Matthew's arms were snuggling him, like a child would a security blanket.

"He's so...," María trailed off, at a loss for words.

"Beautifully celestial," I finished for her, and he was.

"How do we wake him up? We don't have much to work with, and I don't know the Canadian anthem," María informed me.

This week's French test had been child's play. Finally, something I was good at that could work with anime-oriented things. I stood up, my knees unlocked and breathed in for clear diction.

"_Bonjour, nouvelle maison d'hôtes. Bienvenue dans notre maison. Nous ferons de notre mieux pour vous faire sentir à l'aise ici. S'il vous plaît ne me dérange pas le désordre_(Hello, new guest. Welcome to our house. We will do our best to make sure you are comfortable here. Please do not mind the mess),' I said as loudly and clearly as I could.

María applauded once I was finished, so I amused her by talking a bow. Prussia just blew through his lips, muttering to himself.

Then the most timid and fragile voice said "That was really good."

My eyes widened in surprise. The Canada Unit was already up, rubbing the sleep out of his lovely eyes that repeated my favorite color; purple. His -Kumajiro, was it?- bear was crawling out of the box, landed, and lifted its snout to me.

"Who are you?," it's lips syncing with the word sounds.

Hell froze over in my brain. The bear talked. It spoke to me. It orally moved. It had communicated. The animal/machine had verbalized its thoughts. It had said something. Stock still I stood, like a flabbergasted mannequin.

The mammal had spoken to me.

"Hello, Kumajiro," María answered the polar bear, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "That's my sister, Elizabeth Amez, and I'm her younger sister. My name's María. Hello, Matthew."

"Y-you c-can see me?," he uttered quietly, though I was too stupefied to answer.

"Sure I can!," she said happily.

"Hey, Birdie!," Prussia greeted, a cartoon-like bulb on his head from the blow. Of course, the following action was on default in this salutation; heading for Canada's male vital regions. Snapping out of my stupor, I dug my straight hand in a chopping motion to his stomach, causing him to lurch backwards from the blow.

"Damn... you two freaking hit like men...," he complained.

Honestly, I was sick and tired of his sexist way of thinking, perverted inclinations, and unmotivated way of plain _living. _He just demanded, demanded, demanded, spoke highly of himself, and then annoyed us. Without contributing anything to our family that, by the way, was currently housing him.

For. Free.

"You're _my _Unit, and you live under _my _rules, and follow _my _directions. You are in no position to complain about anything!," I launched at him.

"_Screw you!_," he boomed, standing tall now. "I'll start complaining right now! First off, vhy is it always so _damn_ _hot?!"_

"It's Texas in the last bouts of summer with a broken A/C system, you _nitwit!_," I reiterated.

"_Second_, vhy don't you buy beer?!"

"We're struggling with money and me and María are underage!"

_"Vhy do zhe both of you dress in layers like Eskimos?" _

_"Because you're a creep!" _

I can't believe this man was actually making me more than irritated than I had ever been in my whole life, more than when María had been bullied by peers in school. Never had I wanted to tie someone by the neck to the bumper of a delivery steam truck and set the destination to New York.

But Gilbert wasn't finished yet.

_"And vhy don't you let me go out?!"_

_"You'd be more destructive than the chupacabra!" _

_"Vhy do you mostly cook Mexican food?!"_

_"We're Mexicans, you idiot!" _

_"Vhy don't you vorship me like a god?!"_

_"You're about as god-like as the floor of a chicken coop!"_

_"ZHAT'S DISGUSTING!" _

_"Oh, and YOU'RE NOT?!" _

"Uh... guys?,' my sister dared.

"_WHAT_?!"

María's stomach started growling.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You and Mr. Williams must be hungry."

"Y-you can see m-me too?," his charming voice asked incredulously.

"Of course I can," I assured him.

"I'm so happy though."

"Don't be," I said. _Goodness this man needs confidence._

"Hey! I'm starving too, go make me a sandwich!," Prussia ordered me.

"I thought you were complaining about me and the house I call home," I expressed emotionlessly.

"Vomen cook, men play."

"That's the stupidest thing my ears have ever had the misfortune to hear," I simply portrayed.

"Vhat are you vaiting for? Go make food," He persisted. To try to make the point even clearer, he almost slapped my bottom, but I dodged then landed a kick at his face.

"If you're so hungry, feed yourself."

"It's too early, and I'm tired~," he whined, from pain and from the prat he was.

"Of what? You do nothing all day."

"Uh... I can cook pancakes if you want me to...," Matthew's frail vocals offered, cutting off our one-sided argument.

María brightened. "Oh, could you?!"

He colored at the cheeks.

"Well, yeah...it's nothing much, but breakfast I can do."

"_Merci_," I thanked him gratefully.

Both me and my younger sister introduced him to the kitchen, and where he would be able to find the ingredients. I told Gilbert to sit down and simply _be still_, until the morning feast began. As Maria set the table, I stayed behind to survey Matthew's cooking techniques, wanting to learn from him.

The reason why I took to do most of the cooking was that Maria knew how to cook better than me. She had a certain ability to making food that not only tasted good, but made you feel satisfied and happy as well. I could never match her heartfelt ways, but what I lacked in emotion in my duties, I made up for in precision and efficiency. After a while, he removed his winter coat, the heat from the gas top and the faulty cooling system of ours made him perspire, to reveal his military uniform. His hand sprinkled cinnamon in the mixing bowl for some reason and yeast as well. He mixed the pancake batter by hand with the skill of a professional chef, and poured them over the well buttered pan evenly and generously, making perfect wide circles each time, unlike the uneven asymmetrical ones that people tended to make at home. They were all perfectly cooked and well-balanced. The wrist motions were mesmerizing to watch.

I remembered a documentary on Columbine I had watched when I was younger. How it explained how Canada had no problem with gun control and on-purpose causes of death in their country. The amazing hospital care they gave you and the insurance as well, with the addition of better opportunity for education and school also. While Mama, Maria and I were stuck here struggling for a better life.

I sighed absentmindedly to myself.

It caught Matthew's attention.

"What's the matter?"

"You must be a wonderful place to live in,' I lowly said.

"Oh! Uh... thank you."

* * *

Here I was with the most scary girl aside from Belarus watching my every move while I made pancakes.

_Maple leaf... _this was so tense! The way she kicked and hit Gilbert like he was a wussy... I had never seen anything like it ... and she was so emotionless, she was like a robot!

Ironic, isn't that what _I'm _supposed to be? As I finally poured the batter, wanting to disappear for the first time in my life, she sighed. It was even quieter than me! That was saying something. It was like a transparent breath, like a flower giving out oxygen almost. Not wanting to get on her bad side, I had to buck up and say something.

"What's the matter?"

"You must be a wonderful place to live in,' she said quietly.

My face heated up. I had not expected her to say that... it was really nice of her. No one has ever bothered with me before. I mostly lived in a bubble. No matter how hard I had worked to make the lives of my people better and provide a haven for others, everyone still paid me no attention. For a scary girl, she was really sweet. Like...syrup.

"Oh! Uh... thank you."

* * *

After the table was served, Gilbert automatically wolfed down the flapjacks, while me and Maria both took a few bites to sample ours.

Oh my dear Lord... it was like a fluffy cloud in my mouth. A hot, soft cloud with maple syrup drenched over it in pools of nectar. My taste buds watered over on themselves from the rich flavors. It also made the endomorphism in my brain release me the feeling of absolute, simple happiness.

"So good...,' my sister gushed, holding the sides of her face.

"This is amazing,' I said flabbergasted. "I never tasted a man's cooking before, this is impeccable!"

"Thanks...,' Matthew breathed. "So, which one of you do I belong to?"

Maria pointed at me with her maple slicked fork. Matthew regarded me with a nod.

"So I guess you're the one that officially owns me," he confirmed, rubbing his neck.

"That sounds dirty~," Gilbert said in a singsong voice, Canada blushed and I threw my knife at the speaker, but he dodged.

"Sometimes I want what only you can provide; your absence," I dully insulted.

"I heard zhat!"

"Weird, you were supposed to."

I checked my watch. There was plenty of time to work on thoroughly cleaning the house and doing chores.

I stood up.

"Well, we'd better get to work soon. We need this place sparkling for when mother arrives home in the afternoon."

"I'll sweep, dust, mop and clean the windows!," María offered. "They're getting really _sucio._"

"_Gracias, _María. You're as thoughtful was always. I'll wash the dishes, do the laundry and mow the lawn," I glared at Mr. Beilschmidt. "And _you, _Mister Self-Important, are going to clean up as well by washing the bathroom and putting up dishes."

"No vay, I'm going back to sleep!," he protested.

"It's droll how you think you can live under this roof and expect to do nothing," I told him.

He slapped his hand down on the table, meeting my beam of vision head on.

"Someone as awesome as me, does _not _have to clean up vhere people _crap_."

"You use it too, so it's _your _'crap' as well. Your argument is invalid."

"Can I do something too?," The Canadian unit whispered, raising his now gloveless hand.

"All you have to do is fold your clothes, and put them and your hockey stick in my room. María will show you where it is, you'll be sleeping there as well. We're battling the bills, so I'll have to build you a bed from your packaging box."

"Wow, you can do that? That's you."

"Thank _you_."

"For what?"

"For not asking how a _girl _can do that, like some other _biased _simpleton residing in my home," I added, making a point to the white-haired entity present.

Gilbert responded by putting his plate and utensils in the sink while whistling aimlessly.

"Oh, look how zhe awesome me is being awesomely helpful by putting up my own dishes," he said to himself just loud enough for me to hear.

"_Every_ plate, you moron," I put in, unimpressed.

Once María and I were dressed and ready for the day, and Mr. Williams had familiarized himself with the few rooms we had to put away his things, we both started on our chores. I washed the dishes, and made sure that Prussia put them on the drying rack. But then his pajama top got wet from the water.

"How could you get it wet, you're not even washing the dishes!"

"Hey, it's _your _fault, you made me do chores, vhy didn't you give me anozher set of pajamas?!"

I gave him a hurt look. My ears just couldn't take what he said. His following reaction was the same after he had seen me smile. My head hung low.

"It's the only pair my father forgot to take with him..."

A dark silence from both of us filled the next instances.

María walked in the kitchen to empty the dirt into the trash can. I felt her eyes drag across the both of us.

"Oh Prussia, your shirt's wet. The hall closet has more of daddy's clothes to change into, but that was the only pajama set he kept here. Sis is doing the laundry anyway, so you can put them in the bag in the bathroom to wash," I heard her say to him.

Without a word, he left the room.

María took a moment to empty the dustbin and lean the broom against the white tall trash can. Her warm hand fell on my shoulder, and I laid mine on top of it. She gave me a small hug that I returned.

"I really miss him too, _hermana,_" she admitted.

"I do as well, more than I should,' I responded.

* * *

Prussia knew now was not the time to linger, but he had to. He hid in the same spot when he had been eavesdropping the day he came. The sounds of plastic hitting a rim was the only thing heard, and the dirt sliding down the plastic bag.

"I miss him too, _hermana_,' he heard Maria say.

"I do as well,' Elizabeth's voice answered ",more than I should."

He kept silent, and his eyes weren't visible. After all, there was no light in the hall, and then he made his way to the bathroom.

* * *

I came in sweaty from the summer heat. The neighbor's radio had been blaring the temperature for today. It was finally letting up to the upper 80's degree mark, but it was still very hot to be outside, never mind the mosquitoes from the coast of Galveston coming in. The yard grass was level, and our palm trees and cacti were well trimmed. Honestly, I could have spared the work to make them look decent, but when I saw that they were unevenly trimmed, I had to step in. I wondered if maybe my attention to little details made me a perfectionist, or what the students in school call obsessive compulsive disorder. Whatever the case, I made my way to the bathroom to collect the laundry bag.

As I was walking down the hallway, I noticed from my sweat that stray curls were sticking out around my head. The hairbrush was in the restroom, so there will be no problem undoing my bun and getting it all into place again. I surveyed the handy work of María, the house was spotless. The doorknob squeaked as I opened the door inwards.

_Maybe I can get Mr. Beilschmidt to oil it, _I thought. _Or maybe I should do it myself soon. _

Speak of the devil, there he was, inside the tub that was built to fit the shape of the far left corner of the room where I stood, the peach curtain on the ceiling pushed to the side, scrubbing furiously at the sides.

He was in a white muscle shirt, with the navy pants of his military jacket, but his black wrist gloves were on, his muscled arms guiding his tense hands to the wire scrubbers, and his feet were snow white bare. He had flawless feet. This may be strange for anyone to say, but it seemed to me that the creators of these bots or whoever were purposely trying to make them perfect and immaculate. Gilbert's clothes were wet once again, but he didn't seem to mind, he was just doing the cleaning as if he were neutral about it. Noticing closer, I saw that he had the cross pendant in his teeth, but he wasn't baring the pearly whites. His lips were relaxed around the corner of it.

I was not sure if this would be labeled as unacceptably suggestive, or indifferent in my mind, but I appreciated that he was finally doing something.

"That's good enough,' I said to him.

His crimson orbs turned towards me, as if noticing my presence for the first time. He slowly let the pendant fall from his mouth, then grinned stupidly, with his eyes closed.

"I'm awesome at everyzhing, aren't I?,' Prussia asked.

I adjusted my glasses and turned to face the mirror. "You don't want me to answer that."

The wire brush fell to the bottom of the tub.

"Aw come on, admit it already, I'm awesome!,' he griped to me, holding his fist in the air.

"_Nien_,' I simply said, using his native language, finding the brush behind the mirror, and closing it.

He let his hand fall, because now he was looking at me taking the grooming tool in hand.

"Are you going to redo zhat grandma bun again?"

At 'grandma' the familiar Vein throbbed on top of my head. I promise, my right eye was twitching now.

"What do you care? Are you worried about me looking pretty?"

"You're a girl, it's normal for girls to vant to look pretty."

His response took me by surprise. I was caught off guard for a moment, but I succeeded to control it.

"I am not normal, beauty is vain, and an illusion," I curtly retorted.

"Fine, fine," he waved off. "Vhatever."

For a long time, I just stood there, holding the hair brush in my hand and looking at Gilbert through the mirror.

"Vell? Aren't you going to let your hair down to brush it?," he asked with nerve.

"I can just put down the upturned bits," I quickly said, passing the brush through my scalp without untying the scrunchy.

"Ah, I see. Too embarrassed of your short hair to let me see it? _Kesesese_," he leered.

"What? No. I have long hair."

Now it was his turn to be caught by surprise.

"Then vhy keep it in a bun?," he questioned.

Hefting the cumbersome bag over my shoulder as if it was nothing, I turned to leave, then I turned back to face him, raising an eyebrow in defiance and daringly serious.

"To keep it short and sweet; so that it doesn't get in my way," I tell him, then close the door.

* * *

The albino Prussian stared at the white door baffled, then chuckled to himself and began brushing the tub once more. But it was a real chuckle, with no traces of "kesese" anywhere.

"'So it doesn't get in her way', she says," he repeated to himself. "Zhat's kinda hot."

* * *

On the itinerary and/or scheduled time table: House clean? Finished. Canada settled in? As comfortable as possible. Have I managed to make Gilbert silent for more than three minutes? Regrettably, I am afraid not. But I suppose that it would be all in due time, Mother was not to arrive home until another two hours, so it would be a nice time to ease the pace and ask Matthew a few things about being a Unit, since East Germany had no intention, and was already fast asleep on the biggest couch in the den.

He sleeps at the same hour I do, so how in the Lord's name did he not get his rest? Although taking the manual in regard, I suppose it was normal behavior at work. Nonetheless, it was my goal to get to the bottom of the secrets behind these units and "as God as my witness", I will!

Grabbing a memo book and mechanical pencil, I sat down next to the personification of Canada and opened it to jot down notes. It would be easier to memorize what he said, but I could not concentrate through Mr. Beilschmidt's unmerciful snoring. If they were supposed to be perfect why did Gilbert snore? Perhaps just another question to be answered.

"Excuse me, Mr. Williams?"

"You don't have to be formal," he quietly said, he was polishing his hockey stick, and had removed his military jacket to his button up shirt and tie. "But yes?"

"Can I ask you a few questions about how you are made? If you do not mind my asking, of course."

"No, no... I don't mind at all, it's just company policy to not reveal that we kind of aren't human if some big shot were to close Flying Mint Bunny down. But I think you're a nice girl, so I'm sure nothing like that'll happen right?"

I put my hand over my heart solemnly.

"I give you my word, for I never tell a lie." I already took _-not really human _down on the first page. "What was it about not being entirely human?"

"Well, we _are _grown like a normal human would, but not in the womb. In a lab, from donations of egg cells from a precise genetic pool of models from around the world, the same with the sperm. Once a fetus, we're grown in a huge test tube, and that's how the "not really human" part comes in. Depending on the unit, the scientists give us additional special cells to give us our hair color and identifiable physical features that make us resemble the Hetalia characters you know now. They call these cells, "Hetare" cells, after the katakana characters that gives the show it's name."

_-learn Japanese as fourth language _I added in.

"But you see, there's this thing. All of us are rapidly grown to our character age in the course of two months, and our brains need time to mature, so we're thinking like two month old babies if you wake us up before modifying our brains first. The brain is like a computer, but not really, because unlike the central processing unit, it needs to absorb information from its surroundings, rather than you can store and download info directly with a PC. So what they did was give our brains its own processor already filled with what will mature our thinking to the desired age. Like in Hetalia, our curls are erogenous zones, so that's what the reaction our processors give our brains to respond with, and being mostly human, our bodies really react to it with our feelings and hormones."

I wrote down everything I could, this was all very fascinating.

"Heavens, with the additional CPU you all must have, it would deem official that maybe Units are better than humans in some areas," I concluded.

"You hit the nail right on the head," he complimented, rubbing his head shyly. "Varying with the Units, some us actually _do_ perform better than humans at some things."

I flipped over the page eagerly. "For example?"

Matthew began to fidgit and the color in his cheeks deepened into light red.

"Uh! We-well, um... like me, cooking. And um... some of us clean, and shoot guns and dance and sing..."

_-Some can clean better _I write down happily. I hope I received one of those soon. It would be nice to have some help around the house.

"And what else?"

His fidgeting increased, and the red became deeper, while I admit it was adorable, I was staying to worry. Blood rushing that much into your head _can't _be beneficial.

"Some of us are better at romance than humans...l-like flu-flirting, k-kissing..."

My eagerness blew away. I did not like where this conversation was paving its way.

"And s-some of u-us h-have s-special programming t-to m-make us b-better th-than the m-most experienced humans at... m-making love..."

. . .

Mr. Williams sat there blushing furiously, trying to keep it together while I sat there looking past him, with my emotionless, disinterested default mood.

I flipped the memo book closed.

"I've heard enough, I think I have all the research I need, besides the unnecessary that my brain has unfortunately absorbed," I said flatly, standing up to put away the notebook.

Matthew became flustered.

"Oh! María told me about your memory! I'm sorry," he apologized.

"It's alright," I said, taking pity on his nerves. "It wasn't as bad as when I asked for reading material during a test from one of the junior girls in my testing group, who gave me a special sex edition_ Cosmopolitan _magazine. As fate would have it, at the time I did not know the magazine's rather shady reputation, and the only pages not torn were the 'A Hundred And One Maneuvers In Bed', with which my photographic memory, I am still attempting to erase from my mind."

"A...hundred...and...," poor Mr. Williams whimpered, his eyes dizzy, and his face now beet red.

"What's the matter? Did I say too much?," I asked in concern.

"N-no... I'm fine..."

"You don't appear to be 'fine'."

_Ding. _Oh, there goes the door.

I looked through the now clear window, and almost screamed.

It was mother. Two hours early from work. María caught my frazzled expression, and as if in sync, the both of us moved silently to action.

Asking Canada to please go to my room, which he did, I went to the den to wake up Prussia, while María opened the door a crack to distract mamá.

Gilbert's face was upturned, and his body was sprawled ungracefully on the couch, Gilbird resting amusingly on his forehead. I would have laughed had the situation not been dire. I shook his grown up shoulders. He was heavy. If I didn't take him on on foot with Aikido but on-floor fighting like wrestling, he would easily defeat me. I never had paid attention to how much bigger he was compared to me.

I continued shaking his shoulders.

"Prussia. _Prussia. _Mr. Beilschmidt, wake up. Please, my mother is here!," I whispered tersely.

He only moved his head to the side, disturbing his yellow canary.

"... _fünf minuten_...," he muttered in, what I could guess, German.

"_Nien_," I answered. "Please, _now._"

Gilbert didn't speak anymore.

_Hmm, I wonder..._

I leaned forward into his ear, and prepared my best language execution.

_"Become one with Mother Russia, da?," _my more frighteningly sweet voice uttered.

"_**Augh!,' **_he screamed in terror, now wide awake and started shivering, making the whole couch shake with violent tremors.

"Good, now follow me!,' I half-dragged, half-pulled him to my room, where Matthew sat calmly on my bed, curiously observing us, Kumajiro in his arms, playing with my desk stress-relief ball. I was gasping with terror, hoping my mother hadn't seen the white haired Unit, or saw that anything was strange.

I turned to Gilbert. "Put your jacket on, please, your shirt is still wet from the bathroom cleaning."

I pressed my ear to the white door of my room, trying to hear the conversation between my younger sister and my mother.

"..._la casa se mira maravillosa...(_the house looks marvelous_)" _I heard my mother said.

"_Gracias, nosotros estábamos trabajando toda la_ _mañana_(Thank you, we were working all the morning)."

"_Te lo agradezco a ustedes, mis ángeles, siempre haciendo mi vida mas facil, gracias mucho(_I appreciate to you two, my angels, always making my life more easy, many thanks),' my mother thanked us.

Something hotter than I have ever felt in someone's temperature before pressed onto the side of my face, to which, I found was Prussia's chin.

"Hey!,' I said "No eavesdropping in my house!"

"_You _were doing it first!,' he disagreed.

"Now is not the time to be acting childish, my mo-"

The door opened outward the hall, and my mother looked down on the Unit on top of me, Maria not at all far away.

* * *

_**There's a saying I recently thought up. "You become what you surround yourself with." To write the funny and sharp insults in this chapter, I dived into the mean, yet witty part of the Internet and literature to come up with the arguments. Let's just say I studied this around the same time as helping out with my own quinceañera. I couldn't choose a more bad time to study how to be snarky and sarcastic. I hurt one of my sisters' feelings, so now I feel horrible. But maybe soon I'll scourge the Net to find saccharine things and nice fluffy moments, so I can become them, and treat my family and devotion to God the way they deserve to be treated.**_

_ohayou-gozaimasu - _formal Japanese for good morning

_buenos dias - _Spanish for good morning/day

_nani - _Japanese for what

_onee-chan - _sister

_gomenasai - _semi-formal for sorry

_chotto -_ Japanese for 'Wait!'or 'Hold it!'

_no puedo hacer nada - _I can't do anything/nothing

_chupacabra - _Mexican legendary monster that attacks herds of farmer's goats to suck on their blood

_merci - _French for thank you

_sucio - _dirty

_gracias - _thank you

_hermana - _sister

_nein - _German for no

_fünf minuten - _German for five minutes


End file.
